


Up to You(Tube)

by sky_fish



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Arashi becomes Arashi in an AU setting, Coming Out, Drama, Family, Finding Oneself, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humour, Jealousy, M/M, Personal Growth, Romance, YouTuber-AU, lgbtq+, share house, slow-burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 44,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22962934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_fish/pseuds/sky_fish
Summary: Nino offers his long-year online buddy Sho a now vacant room in a five people YouTuber share house. Soon after, Sho accepts the offer and moves from Hokkaido to Tokyo, not only to give his YouTube career a well-needed push but also to take the chance and get closer to his secret crush.
Relationships: Aiba Masaki/Matsumoto Jun, Ninomiya Kazunari/Sakurai Sho
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36
Collections: Hi-ho! I'm your aibou!





	1. Ready to Fly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saana_13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saana_13/gifts).



> My dear recipient, I was planning to do so much with it and I'm sorry about how it turned out. I'm not sure if this is anything close to what you expected, but I hope you'll be able to take away one or two things of this that you enjoy, nevertheless. I also apologize, but compared to my usual standards, this story is pretty much unbetaed, so please excuse all the typos and if some bits might read a bit bumpy. OK, enough lamented. Enjoy!

Sho knew he would always remember that feeling he experienced when he read Nino's message of that day. When he opened it, he had only expected the usual, like updates about Nino's life, some questions regarding current books and movies they both read or watched, something like that. Sho had expected anything but the actual message he found when he opened his LINE chat this evening after work.

He had just made himself comfortable on top of his bed after pushing away some half-read books, still in his by now half messy working clothes, but already when he read the first line, he was sitting back up straight, his heart pounding.

He blinked. Then he read Nino's message again.

_“Hey, hope your workday went smoothly and you didn't work overtime for too long again! *insert strict face* BTW, remember that time when you told me you'd consider moving to Tokyo for a few years, once in your life? Kazamapon is moving out of our share house, soon, so basically, there'll be an empty room here and I thought you might be interested. For now, I recommended you to my roommates, so let me know what you think about it.”_

It sounded so casual and sober, that Sho first thought it was a joke. So he read Nino's message a third time. Nino indeed did have a strange sense of humour sometimes, but he could also be a very straight forward guy who didn't beat too much around the bush – contrary to Sho – so maybe, he wasn't joking, at least.

“Are you being serious?” Sho texted back, trying to fight the urge of sending a ton of surprised-faced LINE stickers, as he knew that Nino didn't like getting spammed with them that much. Then, he added another line. “Only 1,5 h overtime today. Plus, I have Saturday off, tomorrow!”

His message was immediately read, as the “read” notice next to his message told him, and shortly after, the blinking dots signalled that Nino was typing a reply.

_“Still too long.”_

Sho smiled. Nino often sounded very simple or pragmatic, but he knew that this was still Nino's way to show concern towards his friends.

 _“Facetime me?”_ read Nino's next line. This one really surprised Sho. He swallowed, his heart instantly beating faster.

He didn't mind phone calls at all, but it was very rare for Nino to prefer it over texting. Sho had learned that much pretty fast about the other man. However, some very seldom times, for some reason, they hang out on face time for a good twenty minutes, or even longer. It was like, once you had Ninomiya Kazunari – probably of the world's biggest introverts and phone call haters – on the line, it was him who didn't let you go that easily anymore. Sho really enjoyed those seldom occasions of seeing his friend's face in _real time_ , especially knowing that it was something special, but it also made him unexpectedly nervous, every time. But apparently, this was one of the situations that Nino deemed to be worth an actual call, other situations being Sho's birthday or that time when he got promoted to an assistant branch manager or something like that. Some special occasion, so to say. Was he being that serious about the offer of a room in his Tokyo share house?

Sho quickly opened the camera app on his phone and switched to selfie mode, to briefly check his appearance. He looked a bit ruffled, his dark reddish-brown hair a little bit on ends in the back from pulling the apron, which was part of his working uniform, over his head before leaving the book shop. Running his hands over it didn't really help – it was rather a time for washing his hair again, but there was no time for that now – so he gave up on that. However, he at least tried to flatten out the fold in the collar of his white shirt a little bit.

 _“Sho? Still there?”_ Another message of Nino popped up on the screen, and so Sho stopped his action and switched to face time, immediately calling in on Nino.

His friend's face popped up just a second later, and Sho could see right away that Nino, who was dressed in a plain white shirt and probably his usual comfy loungewear pants, already _had_ showered, which didn't mean though, that his raven black, still damp hair was any more in place than Sho's – to the contrary. But actually, Sho didn't mind, no, he rather liked it. A lot, actually. Because hell yes, Nino looked damned good when he came out of the shower, Sho thought, no, in fact, he _always_ looked so damned good, that it wasn't good for Sho's heart anymore. And he only saw him on screens, for 99 % of the time, how would it be to see him in _real life_ all the time?! Unimaginable! Sho sighed, immediately hoping, Nino hadn't heard it and tried to play his nervousness over with a hopefully not too awkward smile. He also hoped that he wasn't blushing and tried his best to start the conversation properly.

“Hi,” Sho said, _very well articulated_ , as he verbally slapped himself sarcastically just after speaking.

 _“Hey,”_ Nino answered the greeting, smiling widely while trying to get comfy on top of his bed, as Sho could see in the slim frame of his phone.

The task was being made a bit more difficult by two furballs tapsing around Nino, one in white, that immediately took the chance to place itself between Nino's open arms in front of him, while the other, grey one, started to climb on him.

“Hey Yuki-chan, Sora-chan,” Sho giggled, greeting the two cats.

Nino slightly rolled his eyes but didn't move, so that the two cats that were living with him and his friends in the share house, could make themselves comfortable. Sho couldn't help but giggle. He knew how attached those cats were, especially to Nino, apparently, when Aiba and Jun were out of the house, and it was always adorable to see Nino trying to act annoyed by them, although Sho was pretty sure, that once they would end the call, Nino would scratch the cats' fur and talk to them in a sweet voice and just love them, because actually, he adored those animals. He would never admit it, but the way how Nino let them do whatever they wanted, and the way he absentmindedly brushed his hand over their fur, made it clear. Nino was way more caring than he wanted others to know, and this was only one reason why the small built, but utterly cute man, never failed to make Sho smile.

 _“So,”_ Nino continued after the two furballs had found their spot. He raised an eyebrow, his smile turning into a cheeky grin directed at Sho, _“You're still working your ass off for that evil company, instead of focussing on your online career, as you were talking big about last time.”_

“It's not _an evil company_ ,” Sho chuckled. “You know I enjoy working at the book store. We're just a little shorthanded. Also, it can't be helped, I do have more responsibilities now and... I still have to pay my rent, of course,” he continued, hinting a roll of his eyes.

 _“You might have to pay less rent if you were part of our share house,”_ was Nino's reply, straight to the point.

Sho's heart started beating faster once again, and he unintentionally pulled his lower lip between his teeth, slightly biting down on the soft flesh. He wanted to counter with something like _“But isn't Tokyo more expensive than living up here in a middle-sized town in Hokkaido?”_ but trust Nino to already know his thoughts.

 _“You can live off instant ramen for a start,”_ the young man said, his eyes darting sideways. _“It's cheap and delicious, I tried it!”_

Sho snorted, gladly picking up the tone of Nino's light-hearted conversation. He knew, his friend was joking, half of it, at least, but decided to jump on it. “I don't want to hear you talking about your unhealthy diet!” he said, slightly mocking his friend.

 _“Then come here and cook for me,”_ said friend grinned at him, challenging.

Pouting, Sho replied, “You know I can't cook.”

There was a short pause, during which Nino averted his eyes. Sho wasn't sure, if the other man was distracted by something lying next to him on top of the bed, or if he was simply trying to avoid direct eye contact, but Nino seemed a little nervous, too. Perhaps... perhaps he really wanted Sho to move to Tokyo.

Indeed, it had not been the first time they had been talking about this topic. There had been times when Sho had lamented way more about being “locked up” in the north of Japan, as he did nowadays, longing for the adventure called “Tokyo”, and he hadn't seen his friend in real life for a very long time. In this respect, long-distance friendships sucked. However, with all of his family and friends located up here, he had pushed the thought of the possibility to move away to become reality further and further away. Maybe he even had stopped believing that it could actually happen.

 _“I dare to point out that I never had the chance to actually try your proclaimed cooking disasters, so I can't judge,”_ Nino chuckled before making another short pause. Eventually, he continued speaking, his voice low, and warm to Sho's ears. It was almost a whisper, slightly blocked by the pillow underneath Nino's chin. _“Maybe I don't care if you can't cook. Just come here. It would be a chance. Don't you like the idea?”_

Sho swallowed hard. He was glad Nino wasn't looking straight at him at this very moment because he was pretty sure that now, he was definitely blushing. If he could still just blame it onto the lighting of his room, perhaps?

 _“I mean, just think about it,”_ Nino continued, looking back at the facetime window on his own phone screen. _“How cool would it be to live in Tokyo, even if just for a while? You could say you used to live and work in the capital, it would probably look good on your resume for any future job applications, too. I mean, I'm convinced you'd find a good job here, and there are a lot of interesting things here to put on your channel. Don't you want to make it grow for real?”_

“I do,” Sho replied after releasing a sigh. “But I still don't know in which direction I want to take it.”

 _“Then try out different things and we'll figure it out together,”_ Nino said, his adorable smile back on his face. _“The others might be helpful too with their input.”_

The others, right, Sho thought, Nino's roommates. He had almost forgotten about their existence, being too distracted by the unexpected call and the indeed exciting thought to explore Tokyo with Nino by his side – and by Nino's still damp hair, especially those few drops of water glistening on his beautiful face... No, Sho, stop it and focus!

“OK... I'll think about it,” he eventually said. “Until when do you need a definite reply on this?”

 _“I'll confirm with the others and let you know as soon as possible,”_ Nino replied.

“OK, thank you.” Sho smiled. “And now, tell me about your day.”

Nino grinned widely again. _“I had instant ramen for dinner. Oh, don't roll your eyes at me, Mr I-can't-cook-but-still-pretend-to-be-super-healthy!”_

“I should send you a healthy bento from my local organic supermarket,” Sho giggled. “It changed my life, really.”

 _“You can bring one with you when you move here,”_ Nino wiggled his eyebrows. _“But until then, don't worry about me. Aiba-chan and J will be back from their trip tomorrow, so healthy cooking is coming back, soon.”_

“Good!” Sho laughed, actually a bit relieved to hear that, because he knew that J, or Matsumoto Jun, as it was Nino's friend's full name, was an enviable cook, and always took good care of his housemates. “Fill me in again, where did they go to, this time? I admit I'm not completely up to date with Jun-kun's vlogs at the moment.”

 _“Actually, it's pretty boring, they only went to Chiba, visiting Aibashi's parents,”_ Nino replied, waving his hand a little to dismiss the fact.

“It's still nice, meeting one's parents from time to time,” Sho said, but as usual when it came to that topic, Nino just shrugged, pretending to be indifferent. Knowing his friend and not wanting to risk Nino locking up completely, Sho decided to keep that lid closed for this time.

They continued talking about other things, some mundanities first, before they very passionately exchanged their opinions on the latest movie they had been watching at their respective local cinemas, the conversation making Nino's sudden hint of indifference vanish in an instance. A good half an hour later, they ended the conversation, Sho wishing his friend good night and Nino demanding him again to think about his offer about the soon-to-be empty room. Sho promised to do so before he closed the facetime app and released a deep sigh as he shuffled and let himself drop on his back, the soft fabric of his blanket embracing him. Yeah, he would think about it. But first, he'd get up and go fetch one of his healthy bentos from the fridge. It was time for dinner.

\+ + +

“So when will that Sho guy you were talking about move in?” Aiba asked on Sunday morning at the breakfast table while he was distributing the small towers of pancakes with fruits topping that his boyfriend Jun was making for the whole bunch.

The smell of the pancakes was fantastic and even if Nino usually wasn't too much of a sweet tooth, it would be a straight-up lie if he said he didn't like Jun's pancakes. Especially, since the other man knew exactly what fruits to top the pancakes with to balance out the sweetness of the dough, and to refrain from putting extra syrup on Nino's portion. But even if Nino wouldn't like something that Jun made for breakfast, he would still join his roommates at the table. It has turned into something like a tradition already, and even if most of the time he used to be a loner, he very much enjoyed joining his friends for meals and some chats. This routine gave him something to hold on, something that pulled him out of his introverted shell regularly, and it came with a definitely healthier diet than his cup ramen diet he used to switch to, out of pure laziness, when the healthy live-style couple was not at home.

Kazama, one seventh of the residents of the share house – including the two cats living there – had a small pout on his face when he used his fork to slightly poke Nino, who was closest to him, in the arm.

“My bedsheets are still warm and you're already selling my room. You're cruel!”

“Ouch!” Nino protested, rather against Kazama calling him cruel than the actual poke, but he still pulled back and threatening his seating neighbour with his own fork in return, before piercing a piece of pancake that he got served a second later, instead of poking a fight. “It can't be helped, we need to make a living, or do you think being a YouTuber is enough? I can't afford my part of the rent getting higher because of your empty room, and I doubt, the others see it any different,” the young man mumbled between two bites of his breakfast.

 _The others_ , that included everyone currently present in the share house’s kitchen, except Kazama, indeed all shared one thing – they were all YouTubers, all of them maintaining at least one YouTube channel, providing a broad variety of content and earning them a small to mediate, but irregular income. 

Kazama rolled his eyes. “I know about your part-time job and you're not earning _that_ little from your channels.”

It was true, all of them also had a regular – at least part-time – job in addition to their YouTube channels and indeed, being able to share a house was cutting the living expenses immensely, however, this still didn't change the fact that there were more successful and less successful months, for all of them. In the long run, it would be wiser and cheaper for the group to fill the room that was becoming empty, and the sooner the better.

“Anyway, I just wanted to give him a heads-up so he can think about it,” Nino continued, brushing over the other man's comment. “It's not like this is gonna happen tomorrow and he only said, he'd think about it –“

Aiba, placing the last two plates of pancake on the table for him and Jun and sitting down at the opposite side to face Nino and Kazama – who didn't have too much in common, except of black hair and funny enough, also their birthday, although they were not related in any way – hummed thoughtfully. There was a big slurp coming from the side, and for a second, everyone turned their heads to the table head, where the fifth human member of the share house was seated, hunched over in his chair, his knees pulled up. His eyes looked tired and droopy from a long night, and his brown hair puffed up as if he had used up a whole bottle of hair spray at once. The plate in front of him was already almost empty, an arts magazine spread in front of him, and his coffee mug pressed against his lips.

“Sorry,” Ohno mumbled, making his next sip a quieter one. “Please go on,” he gestured at Nino with a hand covered in paint stains. 

“Well...,” Nino picked the conversation back up after the short disturbance, “I think it's a big decision to make whether to move from Hokkaido to Tokyo or not, he has family there, a job –” he sliced his pancakes into smaller pieces and started dividing the fruits topping onto the dough pieces, as equally as possible, to make the perfect composition of taste. “So, Aiba-chan, I don't know yet if and when he'll move in.”

“Mhm...,” Nino's best friend – his face already stuffed with a piece of from syrup dripping pancake, which must be way too sweet in Nino's opinion – muffled. His eyes were fixated on Nino as if he wanted to say something more, but if he did, he kept it for himself and simply added, “Then just keep us updated. I'll consider him as a potential new renter, but if we don't get a decision within a month, I'll be forced to search for someone else. After all, the whole moving process will take time, too, right?”

“Sure, thanks, I'll let him know,” Nino replied with a smile.

“If he doesn't want the room, I know someone who might–“ Ohno spoke up again from the side.

“Hey!” Kazama exclaimed again, playfully pointing his fork at him before eyeing from Ohno to Nino and back, “You're not a bit better than this little miser here!”

“Relax Kazama-kun,” Jun, who had finished cooking, placed the last plate with pancakes free to take for everyone in the middle of the table and finally settled down right next to Aiba. He was holding a huge mug of coffee in his hand – his sleepy face indicating that he could definitely need it. “You know it's not like we're throwing you out, it's rather that _you_ are leaving _us_ , so it's just natural we're thinking about the future of this share house.”

Jun made a slightly overdramatic gesture, almost spilling some of his coffee over his boyfriend's T-shirt in the attempt to figuratively fill the room.

“Jun-chan, watch out!” Aiba shrieked before putting his hand on top of Jun's and making him put down his mug.

The kitchen slash dining room was actually openly connected with a large living room from which a few doors were leading to other parts of the house. There was one bathroom, and a guest toilet, a storage room and a garage which held space for three cars, but only was home to one – Jun's – car at the moment, and rather functioned as an atelier for Ohno and his art (after Jun had made sure there was a large screen built up between his precious car and Ohno's paints, to avoid possible catastrophes). Besides, there was a spiral staircase in the middle of the room, guiding upstairs, where the second bathroom was located, as well as another toilet, and five individual bedrooms, which were each inhabited by one of the share house’s residents.

Aiba Masaki – currently ruffling his long fingers through the dark curls of his boyfriend – had taken over managing the house from his uncle, the actual owner, some years ago. Aiba's uncle had been living here with his wife and children, but since the man's kids had moved out on their own, he and his wife had moved back to their hometown Chiba, to be closer to the rest of the family, and he was now renting this place to his nephew and his friends. Besides maintaining the house in a good condition, Aiba was working as an animal caretaker in a nearby zoo, and he was regularly making animal-related vlogs and other videos there, which he put on his YouTube channel. Due to his sunshine personality and his deep love for animals, which had brought his channel big success with people throughout all age groups, Aiba was even sometimes invited to a popular TV show called “Tensai! Shimura Doubutsuen”, and was by now rumoured to become a regular host, there. According to his own words, though, Aiba wanted to keep his YouTube channel his priority, so nothing was decided, yet.

Aiba had pulled his cousin (who was not a son of his uncle, but the son of another aunt), Kazama Shunsuke, into the share house first. At that time, the now hotel manager had still been a freshman college student but was happy to find a relatively cheap room in a share house instead of having to live in a small, overpriced apartment all by himself. It was only now – after he had asked his long-year girlfriend, who he had met at work, to become his wife – that he was planning to move out and form a home for his wife and their future family, instead.

Back in time, after Kazama moving in, it had not taken long, until Aiba had offered Nino a room in the share house, too. The two were separated by one year due to their age, but they had become best friends during their childhood after they had met during baseball summer camps for years. At the time of moving in, Nino had just entered university, but picking up a subject of his parents' choice that he had zero interest in, had made him feel so miserable, that he could only think about quitting studies. When, after a big fight, he desperately wanted to move out of his parent's house, Aiba's offer came just at the right time. Even with just a part-time job, it would be doable to pay the reasonable rent, and thus, Nino had thrown everything he didn't want out of the window and started his new life at his friend's house. This included a job at a music store and his at that time first, slowly but surely growing YouTube channel, focussed on entertainment reviews like CDs, movies, games, or books.

Shortly after, Nino had recommended one of his former university buddies, Jun, as an addition to the share house, not only but probably primarily because the man was an enviable cook (which he did not only prove on his YouTube cooking and his vlog channel). Surprisingly in some aspects, Jun did not only become the group's cook and interior designer, but also Aiba's boyfriend, pretty fast, and until now, Nino proudly proclaimed to have been their match-maker.

And then, there was Ohno, of whom, until today, nobody knew exactly, though, where Aiba had picked him up from, but Aiba had his way with all kinds of people, so it wasn't really a surprise that he showed up with a breadless artist at his hand, one day. Ohno also owned a YouTube channel by now, even if he had needed a lot of pushes and help from Aiba and the others to finally start one. His most famous format was one that felt like a homage to the late, famous painter Bob Ross, who was a master of creating magic on canvas, while commenting his steps with his calm voice, making him very popular not only among aspiring painters but also fans of ASMR. The special twist about Ohno's videos was, that he was constantly humming melodies while painting or drawing, only seldomly commenting his steps – which he turned into lyrics of his songs, at that time. Despite that, it seemed to work, as Ohno's channel was approaching a mentionable number of subscribers now.

The place's signature was a warm feeling, originating from creme-coloured wall paint and supported by the light brown coloured interior. There were also accents in various colours spread all over the house, like the cushions on the couch, or the rainbow bookshelf lining the long wall in the living room, as well as tons of beautiful house plants that Jun and Aiba treated as if they were their children. Despite being – for Japanese standards – quite a big house, it didn't look empty. It wasn't stuffed, either, but it had this kind of cosiness that made you want to stay at home all day long. The bedrooms upstairs, also mostly designed by Jun, who had given everything a huge makeover after he had moved in, were just as comfy and fitting for each personality. To say that Jun had done splendid work on catching each of his roommates' likes and preferences, was an understatement.

“I'm not _leaving_ you, I'm moving in with my fiancé, that's all,” Kazama chuckled.

“Technically, it's the same result,” Jun mumbled, before dedicating himself to his coffee.

Kazama sighed, scratching his ear. He knew this wasn't a reproach but just a simple statement of facts. If even, he was convinced, that Jun was already looking forward to planning and renovating his room, in preparation for whoever would become his successor. Still, it was an awkward situation, for the whole group, knowing they would have to say goodbye to one of the houses long-year inmate, soon.

“It's a very happy reason to move out, though,” Aiba chimed, “You know, we wish you all the best for the future, right? Sorry that this bunch –,” he shot everyone at the table a serious look, “Is unable to express their true feelings. Let me translate – we will miss you!”

\+ + +

Understandably, it took Sho more than one evening to decide about whether to move to Tokyo, or not, and it definitely wasn't an easy decision to make. While his mother would probably tell him to “live your life and don't overthink everything too much”, Sho knew, that she was currently still on cloud nine after just recently falling in love with a new man after grieving her husband’s loss from now more than five years ago, and she was probably not thinking _enough_ for his personal taste.

His sister, though, would surely call him crazy, especially, if he mentioned that he wanted to work on building his YouTube career and that it was ridiculous and irresponsible to through away a steady job as assistant branch manager of a renowned book store, with prospects for a further promotion in probably only a couple of years. He could even hear her voice, scolding him, and saying things like that “a man in his late 20s should surely have other career goals than becoming a YouTuber” or “aren't you actually too old for this kind of dream, anyway?”. Sho knew, she didn't think highly of this kind of career choice – neither did most of Japan, actually – but even if Sho just kept it as a hobby, he didn't want to miss it from his daily life anymore, and if he could actually earn a little extra money with it, why not try to do it a bit more seriously?

Sho's younger brother was also to be considered, of course. Well, he loved his brother and wouldn't want him to give up his dream, but he'd also miss him horribly, and Sho would miss him too.

Further, Sho's brother wouldn't be the only one he would miss when moving away from his current life, he had quite a few friends up here, one of them being his long-year workmate and his best friend, Tsumabuki Satoshi, or Bukki, as Sho used to call him since college days. What he liked most about his friend was, that Bukki pretty much knew everything about Sho and that he didn't need to hide anything from him. Not his YouTube channel, not his – in the eyes of his sister – _silly ambitions_ , not his true nature. He could talk to his friend about everything, and Bukki was always the first one to give valuable advice to Sho, or at least, support him.

Thus, it was just natural that on Monday when the two met again at work, Sho couldn't hold back anymore. Sure, he could have texted him, but he needed to talk about this thing with his best friend in person. He needed his opinion on this.

“Bukki, I need your help,” Sho said, first thing after his friend entered the small dressing room in the back of the store, opened his locker and put his backpack inside.

Bukki took off his jacket and replaced it with the store's dark red coloured signature apron while darting a curiously raised eyebrow in his friend's direction. “What's wrong, Sho?”

“I need your opinion on something,” the other man – already fully dressed in his work uniform – said in a very serious voice.

Bukki smirked. “Oh and I was thinking you'd never talk about it, I always wanted to tell you that the colour of _this_ shirt you're wearing, _really_ doesn't suit you -”

“What –,” Sho furrowed his eyebrows and opened the door of his locker, looking into the long mirror hung in the inside of the door, checking his outfit.

He was wearing dark pants and a mint coloured long-sleeved shirt underneath his apron, and while he didn't really know what exactly didn't fit well, he started wondering. Was that colour making him look too pale, perhaps?

“Well... thank you for your honesty, but that's not what I meant,” Sho answered, deciding to ignore the clothes issue altogether for now. It was what it was now, anyway.

“Oh. Then... just don't wear this shirt anymore and tell me what you actually wanted my opinion on,” his friend replied with a wide grin.

Sho had to admit, that Bukki, dressed in dark blue jeans and a simple white shirt, indeed looked a bit more put together than he did. Damned, he really wasn't going to wear this shirt ever again, now.

Without needing any further invitation, Sho started to tell his best friend of the call between him and Nino. Of course, Bukki knew _everything_ about Nino, who he was, how he and Sho met and became friends online about five years ago in a movie addicts forum, and that he was a rising YouTube star who had inspired Sho to start his own channel. Bukki also knew, how often they actually had met in real life (twice, once at a very small YouTube convention in Tokyo, years ago, and one time last year, when Nino came to visit Sho in his hometown for a long weekend trip) and most importantly, he knew about Sho's huge crush on the young man. One-sided, sadly. At least, until now.

“I understand your hesitation,” Bukki eventually said, while the two men were rearranging some shelves in the Contemporary Literature book section, placing new covers to the fronts to shine and invite people to pick them up and read them, as well as adding small, handwritten notes from various members of their staff to some selected books, as recommendations. “Your family and friends are all here, you are starting an actual career in this branch, too... but on the other hand, your long-year crush asks you move in with him, it's like one of your secret dreams coming true...”

“N-not with _him_ , with him and his four other roommates!” Sho immediately protested, fighting a blush on his face and almost dropping a hardcover on his foot.

“Ah, details,” Bukki chuckled, waving his hand. “You'd still be closer to him – and especially for way longer – than ever before, it's a big chance to, you know... get closer to him.”

Sho fought the urge to cover his face with his hands and tried to focus on sorting some books in alphabetical order of the author's last name.

“It's not like... you know, I don't think he even _thinks_ of me that way,” Sho murmured. “Maybe, this is a bad idea. Maybe, I'd just start hoping all over again and in the end, he really just wants to be friends, and I'm ruining everything.”

“But – correct me if I'm wrong,” Bukki interrupted his best friend, “There _has been_ a moment between the two of you, when he visited you last year, no? I remember exactly, how excited you were on the phone the next day.”

Sho's heart started beating faster at the memory his friend was referring to. A _moment_ , indeed – and only that –, in Sho's apartment, him and Nino cuddling up on the sofa, watching a movie, sharing some delivery sushi and a six-pack of beer, the two of them looking at each other, Nino's face so close to Sho's, that Sho almost had leaned over to kiss the other man, until Nino had blinked and pulled back, continuing on watching the movie and sipping his beer, as if nothing had happened. As if there had not been a moment, at all.

“There was a lot of alcohol in use, and nothing actually happened. Cuddling doesn't count as something happening,” Sho murmured.

Bukki sighed. “I still think he was probably just shy. You said, he's an introvert, didn't you?”

“He is, although I think we got pretty close over the years despite that. But he never even talked about liking guys _that_ way, or him liking _anyone_ that way. It just wasn't a topic we talked about,” Sho replied. “And so, I also never told him that _I_ like guys that way.”

For a painful minute, Bukki didn't say anything, before he finally turned to Sho and looked him straight into the eye. “Do you still like him?”

Sho swallowed, surprised by the direct question, but there was not the slightest doubt in his answer. “I do.”

“A lot?” Bukki raised an eyebrow.

Sho sighed, before he almost whispered desperately, “A very big lot.”

His friend smiled as if he understood very much what Sho was talking about, and then reached his hand to pat the man's shoulder, comfortingly.

“Then, if you want my honest opinion... If you just have the slightest feeling that there could be a tiny bit more between the two of you, or if you just want to make sure – I think you should take the risk and try to find out more about his feelings. You already once said you can't figure this out via a long-distance online friendship slash relationship, whatever you want to call it. This would be your chance to be close to him almost 24/7, think about it!” the man said in an encouraging voice. “I know, your career, and your people are here, but I'm sure you can also make a career in Tokyo!”

With a soft chuckle, Sho replied, “And you don't say this only so you can take over my position as assistant branch manager here?”

Bukki rolled his eyes before breaking out into a grin. “You know, I wouldn't mind a recommendation from your side once your position is vacant, but you know I don't care about it. I just want you to be happy. Why not try your luck? If it goes wrong, you can always come back. And in the meantime, you can come to visit us as often as you like. You can crash on my couch if you want. And I can come to visit you too, it's been a while since I've been to the capital and I'm still a bit salty you didn't introduce your crush to me last time!”

Sho laughed, and he could almost feel the burden that had weighed on his shoulders for the weekend, falling off with it. Maybe, he wasn't surprised to hear all those words from his best friend, but maybe, he just had had to hear them. To be sure.

“Actually, besides all the lovey-dovey-stuff,” Bukki continued, playfully picking on Sho's crush, “And the new career chances, I think it would do you good to be surrounded by creative people. You said Nino's living with a bunch of other YouTubers, right? I'd say, it's also a great chance for you as a content creator to learn and grow.”

“That was also part of Nino's argumentation,” Sho answered. “He said, he'd help me to figure out things.”

“That's great!” Sho's friend grinned. “And while you're spending a looot of time together making videos, you two will get closer and closer and then one day –“

Bukki didn't properly end his sentence, but instead, he quickly turned around so that his back was facing Sho, slung his arms around his own body and started to quietly mimic kissing noises while slightly wiggling around.

“You are an idiot, Tsumabuki Satoshi!” Sho exclaimed, placing a slight playful slap on the back of his best friend's head. He couldn't help but grin widely, though, his face red like a tomato.

“Don't hurt my feelings, I'm your biggest supporter!” Bukki whirled around, pretending Sho's slap had hurt, and sticking out his tongue.

“Back to work now,” Sho giggled, shaking his head before trying to be serious again. “There's still the whole Children's Book section to cover, Tsumabuki-san! This is an order from your assistant branch manager, Sakurai Sho.”

“Roger!” his friend replied and gave him two thumbs up before he was off to said book section.

Sho, still perfecting a shelf display, stayed back, thinking to himself. Bukki's reaction had been a relief, indeed, as well as a reassurance of his own thoughts, but he also knew that deep inside he was the only one who knew what was best for him and which decision he should make. And deep inside, he knew, he wanted to be closer to Nino. Wanted to take the chance to get to know him even better, in _real life_ after such a long time of being friends online. He was pretty sure they would get along well, the few times they had met offline, they had just clicked, but was there more than friendship? Sho thought back to that _moment_ , to how excited he had been feeling back then. He didn't know, if it had been the same for Nino if he ever thought back to that moment, or not, but he was burning to at least take the chance and try to find out.

Was this the right reason to make such a big decision to move to another city or not, Sho wasn't sure, and of course, it wouldn't be the only reason, as a possible push to his YouTube career played also its fair part, but him wanting to be with Nino was undoubtedly the strongest pull about all this.

What was the worst that could happen in this situation? Sho could embarrass himself and find out, that Nino didn't like him the same way as he liked the young man, maybe, they would become awkward... yes, this was a frightening image, and Sho didn't want that to happen, but otherwise if he didn't try his luck, would he be able to forgive himself? And about his YouTube-career, things couldn't possibly get any worse, and if, then he would just keep on doing his videos for a handful of loyal viewers, and there was no damage done. Doing nothing, wouldn't bring him any further, not in regards to his love life, not in regards to his online career. So, he could just try and see, if he'd be successful or fail. And if he didn't do it know, he'd probably do it never.

Sho took a deep breath, released it, and said to himself, not realising the surprised look of a passing mother with her child on her hand, “OK. It's decided. I'm gonna take this chance and if I go down, I go down with my head held up high!”

TBC


	2. Movin' On

From Sho's decision over organizing everything like finding a good job, handing in his resignation letter at his current workplace, terminate his old rental agreement, signing the new one in Tokyo and actually _moving_ , had taken Sho almost three months, and he was even surprised that everything had gone so quickly and without bigger hurdles. Sure, the bookshop Sho was working at wasn't amused to lose their assistant branch manager, but they accepted their employee's wish for a personal challenge in another city, and bid him farewell properly with a small good-bye party, a gift card for their shop and a basket full of delicious healthy treats.

During those past three months, Sho and Nino had met a few times. The first time was when Sho had travelled to Tokyo for about three days to attend some job interviews in various book stores he had been invited to after sending his resume. During that time, he also met the rest of his other future roommates for the first time (except Ohno, who had been on a mysterious fishing trip to Okinawa, apparently to visit his parents), and already had the chance to stay over at his future room.

“Nino-chan's friends are my friends! Oh, and I really like your videos!” Aiba had chimed and enthusiastically hugged Sho as if he was a long-lost friend. Sho immediately decided that Aiba was just as cheerful and lovable as he seemed to be from his videos and Nino's descriptions.

A little more intimidating was Jun, who always looked so damned cool in his videos, no matter if on his cooking channel, or his vlogging channel, but once you got over the serious look on the man's face and arrived at the point at which he flashed you a silly wide smile, you knew that he was just another nice guy with thick eyebrows and big ambitions. It seemed like Jun insisted on renovating and decorating Sho's new room according to the new resident's wishes, so he had asked him a lot of questions, from which colour patterns he liked over what kind of furniture he was planning to get, to what kind of things he's like to have on display. Jun even volunteered to go buy new stuff for Sho, if needed, and to take care of that together with the other roommates, but Sho told him he'd bring most of his furniture with him, so it would be sufficient if they could kindly repaint the walls in white and add some deep red accents to it if they felt bold. When the man saw Jun's slightly disappointed look, he promised him, that he'd invite him to help him decorate the room, when Sho would be moving in for real, even if Nino and of course Aiba had already offered their help, too.

It had been very interesting to finally meet all those people from Nino's daily life in person. Of course, Sho also watched their YouTube channels, admittedly, some of them more frequently than others, and Nino had, of course, told him a lot about them over the past years, but meeting them for real, was a different deal. So, for example, Sho was positively surprised to see how close Aiba and Jun actually were. He knew from Nino that they were “a thing” almost since the day Jun had moved in with them, but hearing it and _seeing_ it, were two different pairs of shoes. Especially, since in both, Jun's and Aiba's vlogs, they did not really present themselves as a couple, but rather as very close friends. Their audience could just guess, if there was going on more between the two of them, or not, and it was often a hot topic in the comment section below their videos if the one showed up in the other's vlogs, however, the mystery was yet to be unveiled, officially.

Knowing that Nino was such good friends with a gay couple, kind of gave Sho a little hope. Maybe, like this, it would be easier for Nino to accept Sho's crush on him – that was if he ever managed to tell him about it. He surely didn't want to go like a bull at the gate, he still needed to find the courage, the right moment, and preferably some more hints from Nino's side that any advances into this direction would be welcomed before he'd make the move. However, at least, like this, Sho was pretty sure Nino wouldn’t hate him or be disgusted by him for being interested in men. Well, one man, to be precise. Being quite certain about this, made Sho feel a little bit lighter and happier, and that was enough for the moment.

Besides, Sho also got to meet the two adorable pets of the share house – a snow-white cat, called Yuki, as well as what Aiba assumed to be her sister, a grey cat called Sora, both with stunning blue eyes. It had been Aiba, who'd taken them in and named them after the weather condition during which he had found the two poor animals, abandoned in a paper box just a few streets away. Ever since they had become full members of the household, the only difference between them and their human roommates, that they didn't pay any rent, and that they didn't have their own rooms – which wasn't a big deal, because apparently, they owned each and every room which's door wasn't closed properly, anyway.

During Sho's second stay in Tokyo, when he had been invited to two last round interviews for a job, it was decided that he would be starting to work at his earliest convenience after moving to Tokyo, in a renowned book store just a few stations away from the share house. He wouldn't be assistant branch manager from the start, but the company already showed him that they appreciate his experience in this position, and told him that if everything went well, he would have good chances to get promoted, soon.

On this evening, there was a small celebration at the share house to congratulate Sho on successfully grabbing a job and this time, he even met Ohno with his very calm but soothing presence that felt really nice having around. Sho now understood why Nino got along so well with that man. He kind of helped Nino to balance out the over-energetic couple that their roommates Aiba and Jun were, at times. Sho smiled when they all clinked glasses and Aiba made a toast to their joined future at the share house – and on Kazama's marriage, even if involved people weren't present at that evening.

The third time, Sho met Nino within his moving process, was when Nino had taken it upon himself to accompany the moving company that was ordered to drive from Tokyo up to Sho's place to pack all his boxes and furniture and bring them to his new place. Nino had helped his friend to pack his last things and to properly say goodbye to his very first own apartment. It had been quite a nostalgic moment, but having Nino standing right next to him, clinking beer cans on a new start in a new city, with that sweet smile in Nino's face, had helped Sho greatly.

Meeting Nino over the past few months had helped a lot in general. It had taken the nervousness off Sho's mind that he might not fit in with Nino and his roommates, as Nino introducing him to them had helped a lot and it was immediately clear that they all would become friends in no time. Nino's encouragement when Sho had been doubting that he'd get the job he wanted, had also helped to make the young man feel more at ease. And the fact that Nino was even helping him with the actual move, had almost moved Sho to tears.

All of this had reassured Sho about his decision of giving this new start a chance, as well as his constantly growing feelings for that young man. His heartbeat went faster every time they met, but it was a good feeling, and even if there were no further special _moments_ , being back together with his long-year online buddy felt just like two puzzle pieces clicking together, over and over again. Sho was convinced, even if he might not have a chance to get any closer to Nino than this, their friendship was so precious to him, that he would be satisfied, either way. That happy feeling that was triggered in Sho while meeting Nino each and every time, as well as knowing they would be living under the same roof from now on, reminded him more than once that all that stress and sleepless nights that had come with moving so far had been worth the trouble.

“I think, he's a good guy, you two have my blessing,” Bukki, who had also helped Sho packing on the last day and thus finally had had the chance to meet Sho's crush in person, had whispered into his best friend's ear as he hugged him goodbye. “He's shy, but I can feel he has his heart in the right place. I'm relieved to hand you over in kind and caring hands.”

Sho had almost laughed and cried at the same time upon hearing those words and had not let go of his best friend for another minutes, until Nino, who was already waiting for Sho to hop into the moving truck, too, had cleared his throat and told Sho to not let the poor movers wait any longer to start their long journey towards his new home.

\+ + +

And thus, three months after Nino had asked him to move in with him and his roommates, Sho finally arrived in Tokyo. 

With the helpful hands of the movers and all of his new roommates, all of Sho's boxes and furniture was soon brought into the share house, built back up and he had already started to decorate his room together with Nino when Jun called from the kitchen that dinner was ready.

“Is he being serious?” Sho had asked his friend, who was busy sorting a not-so-small collection of CDs, a decent mix of J-Pop and Western artists, into one of Sho's shelves. “I thought you were kidding when you said he's making dinner every day.”

“He made dinner the last times you came over, too, didn't he?” Nino simply replied.

“Yeah, but I thought, maybe that was an exception or so.”

Nino chuckled. “No, no, he's _really_ doing this. Every day. Well, except those he's not here, then it's instant ramen for dinner...”

Sho laughed and Nino wondered, if he was just being polite, or if Sho had found his reply really funny.

“So how am I supposed to pay him for his cooking service?” the man then asked.

“We don't. We simply gratefully accept everything he's cooking for us, don't complain and thank him afterwards. Oh, well, of course, we contribute financially to all the shared food in the house, I think I told you before, right? But J doesn't expect us to pay for _his service_ , he's doing this because he loves it,” Nino replied, adding, “Oh, and beware touching anything while he's cooking, I mean it! Aiba once almost lost a hand because he tried to _help_ him.”

“That sound's scary...,” Sho furrowed his eyebrows a little as if he wasn't sure if Nino was exaggerating or not. He didn't know Jun for too long yet, but talking about scary, he had already witnessed him on a very bad morning, so he could probably imagine what that man would be able to do when he was really pissed off by something or someone.

“Did I ever tell you that he's a certified chef?” Nino continued, “He's not working as one, though, so I guess this is his way to live out his cooking passion.”

“I feel like I heard about that once in a Q&A video on Matsumoto-san's channel,” the other man said, wondering.

“Well, honestly, I don't complain,” Nino chuckled. “The only things I can cook are wafu pasta and sunny side eggs with toast.”

“Don't forget the instant ramen,” Sho grinned and slightly poked Nino in the side.

“Hey!” Nino protested, but couldn't hold back a giggle. It was new for him to really _feel_ his friend’s presence, and even if he could imagine nicer body contact than being poked or tickled, this was probably something he could get used to.

Dinner turned out to be a small welcome buffet, which Nino commented with an, “ _That_ is an exception,” when he saw the sparkles in Sho's eyes, just so that the newbie wouldn't get a wrong idea and expect dinner like this every single evening.

Jun just laughed, triumphantly – or how Nino called it “devilishly” – and made an inviting gesture for Sho to pick whatever he wanted from the large selection of fried and grilled meat, different noodle dishes, stir-fried vegetables, salads, miso soup, and three types of desserts.

“Didn't you overdo it just a little bit?” Nino asked his friend with a raised eyebrow, while Sho and Ohno were already filling their plates before taking their seats around the table. Sho had immediately inherited Kazama's now vacant chair, which made him end up right next to Nino.

Jun grinned. “Don't worry, I saw it as a chance to try out some new recipes – you guys will need to fill out some questionnaires later on –,” he said that part louder, so that even Sho and Ohno, who had started to shove food into their mouths, heard it, before he chuckled, “And as it seems, there won't be many leftovers, anyway.”

“You're probably right,” Nino smiled before grabbing some food for himself and settling next to Sho.

Time was flying, as they were all enjoying the delicious food while chatting about lots of things. Aiba was still being curious about Sho and asked him questions, while Jun seemed more interested in talking about some new video ideas he had for his channel, trying to get some helpful opinions out of Nino, who rather kept quiet during dinner, but took the time to properly reply to Jun's questions once in a while.

When Aiba, Jun and Ohno started to drag their small party into the living room, where Aiba pulled out a set of Karuta, Jun turned on the TV to a music programme special for background noise, and Ohno gracefully flumped down on the couch to relax his full belly, Nino took the chance and held back Sho before the man could follow the others. His heart was beating faster, as he felt nervousness creeping up his chest. He took a deep breath – hoping, Sho wouldn’t notice how nervous he suddenly was – before he flashed his friend a shy smile.

“I have tickets for that new movie we were talking about during the ride here, today,” Nino managed to say in return to Sho's surprised look. He quickly reached into his pockets to pull out evidence – two paper stipes showing the title of a movie, as well as the date of the following day.

“Oh,” Sho said, slowly taking one of the tickets. “Wow, that’s nice…”

Suddenly, Nino felt even more nervous, as he was somehow unable to tell if Sho’s surprise was rather coming from really not having expected anything like that, or if he was searching for a kind way to refuse the invitation to… yeah, what was this, even, just a meeting of friends going to watch a movie together after not being able to share their passion in real life, before, right? Nino cleared his throat and before Sho could say more, Nino pushed his own ticket back into his pocket and lifted his hand to scratch the back of his neck.

“Uhm, I didn't want to tell you before you're actually here, but, yeah,” oh no, he was starting to babble again, Nino thought. He hated this, but whenever he became nervous – or drunk – it was as if suddenly all the words he usually kept back, were spilling out of him without guard but full of nonsense. “I hope you don't mind that I went ahead and bought those tickets in advance without asking you, but I kind of wanted to give it to you as some kind of a... house warming gift? I mean, you don’t have to go there with me, if you don’t want to, of course. Perhaps, you find it stupid or if you don’t have time for watching a movie tomorrow, maybe I can give them back...”

“No, wait, stop!” Sho chuckled, before looking at Nino with a soft smile.

Nino wasn't sure if he was imagining it, or if Sho was slightly blushing. Great, now he had embarrassed him, too. “I’m sorry…”

“No, Nino,” Sho shook his head, “I don’t mean… I mean, it’s not stupid at all. After all, when do we have the chance to go watch a movie together?”

“Hopefully more often from now on,” Nino murmured, pulling his lower lip in between his teeth and averting his look. He could feel his ears burning by now and could just hope that Sho wouldn’t notice.

“True, now that I'm here, we should take the chance, right?” Sho chuckled cutely, again. It sounded so much better than over camera, Nino caught himself thinking. “But still, this is something really special. Thank you. I'd love to go with you.”

“Great!” Nino replied. Hearing Sho’s reply made a load falling off his heart and he could feel the corners of his lips curling up.

Surprisingly, it had taken Nino way more of his courage to give Sho his little present, than he had thought it would. In theory, it had sounded so simple, just an invitation to go watch a movie, as friends, but why had it made Nino almost freak out? Was he really _that_ excited to go watch a movie with Sho? Wasn't it a normal thing to do, together with friends? Weren't they both big movie lovers? So why should it be strange, to ask Sho to go to the movies with him? Wasn't it an obvious advantage of them living together from now on, that they would be able to spend more time together, following their hobbies? Hadn't they talked about going to watch movies together and discuss them afterwards, especially now, that they didn't have to wait until both of them had the chance to see a certain movie, and exchange opinions online? Still, this felt strange, not in a bad way, but still... so surreal, that it had made Nino feel all nervous and excited about it, and this had nothing to do with that sudden image of him and Sho secretly holding hands in the dark movie theatre. Not at all. Nino's thoughts were surely just mixing up something. He was probably just overreacting.

“Nino? Are you OK?” Sho asked, a slight hint of worry in his eyes.

“What? Yes, of course!” Nino replied as he was snapped out of his thoughts. He hurriedly turned around to head to the living room, and so that Sho couldn't see him bush even more. “Come on, let's see what the others are doing,” he waved Sho to follow him, which the other man did.

Together with Aiba and Jun – Ohno was too lazy to move anymore – Sho and Nino played some rounds of Karuta – with a One Piece themed easy-to-play card deck that Aiba had won at a lottery in his favourite anime store, and the tension Nino had felt during his talk with Sho fell off almost immediately again. All of their reactions became louder, slower, and sloppier, the more beer was involved. In the end, it was pretty hard to find the right cards to tap on, and Nino, who had started to feel quite tipsy already, was glad that he wasn't carrying the rule of the card reader, and instead could just more or less carelessly touch around the grabbing cards. By now, rather than picking the correctly corresponding one of to the reading card, the winner of each round was being terminated by whose hand was closest to the correct card after simply throwing it onto the tabletop, even if reader Jun still tried to admonish the others to play properly.

“I GOT IT!” Nino yelled, slamming his hand on top of a card when they played the next round. Jun had to give him credit because he at least had reached the searched card with his fingertips.

“I didn't expect you to become _that_ loud, wow,” Sho laughed in between, directing a surprised loot at Nino, whose fighting spirit had completely taken over him by now. Not even such a comment by Sho could make him fluster anymore, everything Nino cared about, was to win the game. Still, Nino wasn't completely immune to Sho's adorable giggle as he added, “Although I probably should be used to that behaviour from your gaming channel, I guess.”

“Experiencing the real deal is something different, though, right?” Aiba giggled amused. He was also a little tipsy, but it was still on an OK-level. “Oh, our Nino-chan here can raise is voice, if he wants, I tell you.”

Jun nodded a wide, cheeky grin on his lips. “You should hear him when we're playing quiz games, he's bellowing the answers as if it's a competition in who's barking the loudest.”

“J! No need for Sho to know that!” Nino pouted, embarrassed.

Now, he could feel his cheeks turning red, and he knew it wasn't the beer. Even if Sho knew him from his channel, he rather wanted him to get more familiar with the off-camera person, he was. Preferably, the good side of that, not the annoying one. But, wait for a second, why was he even thinking so much about how Sho would view him and what he would think of him?

“Oh come on, he'll find out sooner or later, anyway,” Aiba replied, ruffling through Nino's hair, who – still pouting – only silently protested in trying to push his best friend's hands away. He had to give him that point, after all, and probably, it was better, anyway, if Sho got to know _all_ of Nino's sides, well... most of them, sooner or later.

“Anyway,” Aiba said, pulling back his hands from the black mess that Nino's hair was now, and standing up. “I'm sorry, I'd love to stay up with you guys and keep celebrating, but I have the early shift tomorrow at the zoo, so I need to be a responsible adult and go to bed now, my alarm is set at three a.m.”

“Wow, that's early!” Sho exclaimed.

Aiba stretched his arms and back. “Your new job doesn't start until Monday, right, Sho-kun?”

“Right,” the other man replied.

“That's good, so you still have enough time to settle here, properly. If you need help with anything, don't be shy to ask. We can also show you around the area and everything, of course,” Aiba smiled and Sho nodded with a “Thanks”. Aiba then dedicated his attention towards Jun, squatting down again and slightly pecking his cheek – not only making Jun blush cutely but also Sho and Nino, who both averted their eyes, as their witnesses, before he got up again and waved his hand. “Good night, guys!”

“Good night,” Sho echoed, still obviously embarrassed to have seen an intimate moment between the two lovers.

Right at that moment, Nino wanted to vanish in thin air, or at least make his suddenly quickened heartbeat stop. Why was he even reacting like that? It wasn't the first time he saw Jun and Aiba exchanging gestures of their affection, and it wasn't as if he was embarrassed by their behaviour or anything, but with Sho around, somehow this almost made him freak out. What was wrong with him? 

“I'll be right with you, Masaki, give me ten minutes,” Jun said, jumping up and heading back towards the kitchen.

“Ah, Matsumoto-san, you're going to bed too, already?” Sho asked, even if it only took him a second to realize what a stupid question it was, “Ah uhm... I mean, I understand.”

Jun sighed, scratching the back of his head before he started to clean up the half-empty dishes from the table. “Well... yeah, I mean, I'll speed clean the kitchen before that. You and Nino are surely welcomed to stay up longer, even without us. Maybe you can even wake up Satoshi to join you for another round of cards.”

“Playing Karuta with Oh-chan is boring, he's so slow, I always win,” Nino mumbled.

“Nino, come on, don't be mean,” Jun sighed, furrowing his thick eyebrows at his friend.

“I'm not mean,” Nino grouched, “I'm just saying the truth.”

“Well, not everyone can be such a quick-witted eagle eye as you are – although, Sho-kun,” Jun turned to the newest addition to the share house, “I need to admit, you were a very good competitor for our Nino tonight.”

“Yeah, not bad,” Nino admitted.

Sho beamed, “Thank you!”

“Aiba-chan didn't stand a chance against us,” Nino grinned, widely.

“Now stop bragging and help me wash the dishes, Nino!” Jun shook his friend's shoulder.

“Yes, Sir...,” Nino answered, slightly annoyed, but got up from the floor, nevertheless.

“I-I'll help, too, I can dry them,” Sho said, following his friend.

Nino turned around and smiled. “Sure, thanks.”

After they had cleaned up everything from the dining table and had put the kitchen back into an acceptable state, Jun bid them good night, climbing up the stairs to join Aiba. While Nino was still collecting a few things from the living room to put them away, Sho observed Ohno, who had passed out on top of the couch and apparently hadn't been bothered by anything that had taken place in the last two and a half hours. At some point, Aiba had draped a blanket over the man's slim figure, and no matter how loud they had been, Ohno had not woken up.

“What about Ohno-san?” Sho eventually asked.

“We'll let him sleep on the couch, he'll probably get up some time in the middle of the night to do some painting, anyway,” Nino replied while turning off the TV and placing the remote control at its usual spot next to the large TV screen.

“Hm... really?”

“Really. Now come on, let's go upstairs, too,” Nino suggested, and Sho agreed.

When Nino, tipsy as he was, almost slipped on the spiral staircase, Sho, who was right behind him, caught him in his arm while clinging to the railing with his other hand to stabilize the both of them.

“Watch it,” Sho whispered surprised, right into Nino's ear.

Nino's heartbeat quickened again, possibly from the small shock he'd received from the unexpected fall backwards or was it because of that warm whisper that had sent a pleasant shiver down his spine? Once the young man became strangely aware of the warmth coming from Sho's body, as well as the other man's heartbeat that he seemed to be able to feel just right through his back, he could feel his ears turn red once more. He was glad, that they were hidden underneath his hair so that Sho wouldn't see it. Was he being stupid, anyway? Why was he being so clumsy... stupid alcohol...

“Sorry,” Nino murmured, as he tried to find back his balance and to calm his racing heart. _Nothing had happened, you didn't get hurt, Sho didn't get hurt, everything’s fine_ , he tried to tell himself, but still, his heart stubbornly kept pounding.

The two men continued climbing up the stairs and went to the left side, where their rooms were located, right next to each other.

“Ah, we did put all the stuff from your bed away already, right?” Nino asked.

“Uhm... yes, why?” Sho replied, wondering.

Only now, Nino realised how strange his question must have sounded just now, or was it just him who thought that this might implement things he didn't mean to say? Sho probably didn't read any subtext into Nino's words, anyway. He was probably overthinking things – again.

“I-I mean so that you can just drop to bed for tonight and we don't need to continue sorting stuff now... after all, we're tipsy and... we just should go to our rooms and our beds and sleep, yeah. Tomorrow will be a new day,” Nino continued, just to clear out any possible or impossible misunderstandings. He seriously would have preferred the earth to open up and swallow him whole right now, but his stupid mouth kept on rambling nonsense like it always did when he felt awkward about a situation. “I mean, I can help you continue to unpack stuff when I'm back from work tomorrow, I have an early shift at the music shop and should be back in the early afternoon.”

“Uh oh, will you be alright tomorrow morning?” Sho asked, giggling.

“It's fine, even if I drink, I barely get a hangover,” Nino replied.

Sho smiled. “Lucky you.”

“Guess, I'm a pro,” the other man replied, chuckling before there was a small awkward pause between them. “Not... that I'm proud of it or anything... I don't drink too much alcohol, you know? Just sometimes, a beer or two?”

Damned, and half of the times – at least – he'd been with Sho yet, he'd been drunk. That really must leave a wonderful impression onto the other man. Nino wanted to slap himself. At least, he decided to shut up now, to not make things even weirder.

“Anyway, don't worry, I think I can handle the rest by myself,” Sho finally continued the conversation. “I don't want to steal even more of your precious time.”

Nino shook his head before he spoke up in protest. “It's fine, really! I'm doing this because I want to. After all, it was kind of my idea you move through half of the country.” So much to shutting up.

“You know, I think I kind of like that idea,” Sho said, chuckling. “Or I wouldn't be here, right?”

“Well,” Nino chuckled in return, “I really hope you like it here, I would feel really bad if you didn't. Anyway, let's go catch some sleep now.”

When Nino wanted to go ahead and open the door to his room, he suddenly felt Sho reaching for his hand. The young man slowly turned his face, just to see Sho's warm, long fingers carefully wrapping around his wrist, in an almost shy gesture.

“Nino... thank you,” Sho said. His face was red, probably from all the beer he drank. “For inviting me here, and for helping me with everything. You're too kind.”

“Nonsense,” Nino chuckled, blushing. He hoped, Sho would notice, or that he would blame the redness of his face onto the alcohol consumption. “I'm just your weird friend.”

“You're not weird,” Sho shook his head.

Nino's heartbeat got faster again, and for some reason, it started to scare him. So, he gently pulled his hand out of Sho's soft grip and in an attempt to not make it look too awkward, although it still definitely was, he lifted his hand to point at his door before he felt his nervous bubbling coming up again. “I-I have to go to bed now, but as I said, I can help you finish your room, tomorrow. And if you want, we can also start brainstorming about what you could do with your YouTube channel, now that you're here in Tokyo. I'm sure, we'll find some things that inspire you. The city's open for your creativity.”

“Hm...,” Sho hummed. “Sure, that sounds great. Thank you. Sleep well, Nino.”

“You too, Sho, see you tomorrow.”

While Nino was still standing there as if he was unable to move, it was Sho then, who entered his own room first, the door falling shut behind him and just a few seconds and foot shuffles later, Nino could hear Sho dropping onto his bed. After a few more seconds, he even thought he could hear soft snoring, wondering if it was possible, that Sho had already passed out. _Enviable_ , Nino thought, when he finally entered his room, sighing, as he seemed to be way too awake right now, although he also hoped, that the man next door wouldn't have a too bad hangover on the next day.

Quickly, Nino undressed and put on his pyjama pants and his slightly oversized favourite Pazudora T-shirt, and since he indeed couldn't fall asleep, immediately, he decided to shortly check his social media accounts and reply to a handful of comments.

On his Twitter timeline, there was a post of Sho from a few hours ago, stating _”Off to old friends and new adventures!”_. Nino smiled, but he could feel a slight sting in his heart as he read the tweet. _Old friend_ , yeah, that was probably everything he was to Sho. And actually, he would have thought the same, if it wasn't _Sho_ , out of all people. But being back with him, together with him, made things suddenly a little more complicated.

If Nino had thought that _that moment_ he had experienced when he had visited Sho in Hokkaido, last year, had been nothing, maybe he wouldn't mind to be called an old friend by Sho, at all. He would have been happy. But then, things had changed. Nino's feelings had changed. Into a direction, he hadn't expected, and maybe, still didn't want to admit. But why was he being so damned nervous in Sho's presence now, then? Why couldn't he stop thinking back to that _moment_ , when they had been cuddled up on Sho's couch, watching a movie... They had just been drinking a bit, chatting a bit, getting a bit closer, physically... there had been nothing strange about it until they had started staring into each other's eyes and the sudden but overwhelmingly strong wish that Sho might just _lean over and kiss him_ had started spreading in Nino's mind, unexpected and so powerful, that it had scared him.

Sho probably hadn't been thinking anything similar about that single moment, at all, so Nino had tried to ignore it and forget it, as best as he could. But the memory kept coming back, haunting him. That warm feeling in his chest, that had triggered that wish in his heart, to be closer to Sho, to be able to meet him more often, and had eventually even made him think of his friend when it had become clear that Kazama would leave the share house, had continued to come back. And now, that _Sho_ was here, it had started to grow even more.

Nino couldn't focus on his twitter feed anymore, and so he eventually gave up on it and instead tried to make himself tired by switching off the lights and listening to some chilled music over his headphones while keeping his eyes closed. Still, he couldn't stop thinking about Sho, his smile, the feeling of sitting right next to him, his voice, his adorable giggle, the warm feeling of being caught in his arms – everything! And Nino really wondered, if the excitement of having one of his best friends, well, a very _special_ friend, even, finally in his daily life, his _real life_ , would eventually subside and become normality.

Nino sighed deeply, his eyes snapping open and starring up to the ceiling of his room in the pitch-black dark. He couldn't see anything. He just hoped that it hadn't been a mistake to call Sho to Tokyo. He didn't want to ruin things between them, after all.

\+ + +

Sho's alarm went off at nine in the morning just so he wouldn't sleep through the whole day. As expected, he woke up with a headache. Last night was just too much fun, apparently. What Sho did not expect though, was, to find a glass of water and some painkillers prepped on the surface of his bedside table.

The young man looked closer, but he couldn't find a note or any other kind of hint on who might have been the foresightful donor. If it had been Nino? At least, their last conversation before going to bed had indicated, that Sho might have a hangover the next morning, so maybe, the other man had left this here before going to work. Nino had not sent a message or anything though, which might indicate something like that.

Sho's heart started beating faster at the thought of Nino taking care of him, quietly. It would fit his personality, not so leave a note. In the end, Sho decided that breaking his head over such kind of riddles in the morning made his pain even worse and so he just took the painkiller, nevertheless, gulping it down with half of the water glass's content. He sighed at the pleasant feeling of the cool water running down his throat, laid back into his pillow and closed his eyes, to give the medicine a few minutes to start kicking in.

Of course, he happened to doze off a little bit, but when he opened his eyes again about an hour later, the headaches were gone, so he decided to get up and start the day. After picking his outfit for the day, something comfy but not too lazy looking, taking a shower in the upstairs bathroom and brushing his teeth, Sho went downstairs, to see if he could find some coffee in the kitchen that might kick even a little more energy and motivation into him.

What he found, as he stepped down the last few steps of the spiral staircase, wasn't only the delicious scent of freshly brewed coffee, but also the sight of Jun and Ohno sitting around the breakfast table. Sho couldn't help but smile when the thought intruded his mind, that it was nice to get up in the morning and not be the only person in a place like it had been in his single apartment before.

Ohno, sitting at the head of the table, like always, and who was still wearing his yesterday's clothes, looked as if he was half asleep if there weren't his with paint-stained hands wrapped around his mug of coffee. He probably indeed had gotten up in the middle of the night to work on a painting, Sho noted. Jun, also seated in his usual place, was currently taking a sip from his black mug with purple stars on it, that he had received from Aiba as a present once, as the latter had proudly told Sho, and flipping through the pages of something that looked like a fashion magazine.

“Good morning,” Sho said as he approached the table.

“Oh,” Jun turned his face. “Good morning. How are you feeling? Bad hangover? You drank quite a lot yesterday.”

Sho waved his hand. “It's OK, thanks to the painkiller. Did one of you guys put it on my bedside table?”

Ohno shook his head.

“Me neither,” Jun replied.

Maybe, it _had_ been Nino, then, Sho wondered, blushing again. Or, it could also have been Aiba, he seemed like the type to do something like that, but then, wouldn't Aiba leave a note? Probably one with a cute doodle. He definitely seemed like the type to do something like _that_ , at least.

“Want some coffee? Sit down,” Jun said, but even before Sho could answer the question, the young man had stood up and gotten a red-white striped mug for the newcomer, that he placed on the table at Sho's spot before he filled it with pure, black coffee. “Remind me, how do you drink it, with milk? Sugar?”

Sho sat down and shook his head. “Black is perfect, thank you.”

“We already had breakfast, so if you'd like something, there's still rice in the rice cooker and some toppings in the fridge,” the young man added, making a gesture to the fridge as if offering to get some for Sho.

“Please, don't bother, I think I'm skipping breakfast today,” Sho replied as he lifted his mug and breathed in the scent of delicious coffee.

Jun sat down again, picking up his magazine skimming where he had left off. When Sho had figured out, that Jun must be awake enough for not getting angry – like he had already witnessed one time he'd stayed over at the place, before – he decided, that he could strike a conversation to break the quiet atmosphere.

“So, what're your plans for today?” he casually asked, not only addressing Jun but also Ohno, whose eyes were closed by now. Sho hoped, that the other man had not really fallen asleep, or he would have to fear about the light blue coloured mug with darker silhouettes of fishes on it, that the man was loosely holding in his hands.

Jun hummed. “Some filming, most likely. I wanted to try a new recipe before that, though, so if I can film it or not will depend on the outcome of my experiment. Ah, if it's edible, it will be our lunch later on, by the way. I hope you don't mind,” he added.

“Not at all,” Sho replied. “Thank you for cooking for us.”

“No problem,” Jun answered. “Satoshi, have you finished your painting yet?”

There was only a murmur coming from the head of the table, instead of a proper reply, so Jun just shrugged. “Nobody knows if Ohno Satoshi _ever_ has a plan, to be honest. How about you?”

Sho swallowed a small sip of coffee before he replied, averting his eyes a little as if he was interested in Jun's magazine or something else on the table. “Nino and I are going to watch a movie in the afternoon.”

“Ah, I see,” Jun simply replied with a smirk on his lips.

“Oh, uhm... did someone of you want to tag along?” Sho quickly added, even if more out of sheer politeness than actually wanting them to join. After all, he would actually prefer going with only Nino…

“No no, it’s fine, we’ll all be busy anyway,” Jun chuckled.

“I’m not busy,” Ohno suddenly gave some sleepy sounding comment from the side.

“But you’re not interested in movies,” Jun replied.

“Hm. True.”

“So don’t bother them on their date,” Jun looked at Ohno, who still had his eyes closed but was now taking a slurp from his coffee.

“Uhm… it’s not… a date…,” Sho immediately intervened, putting his mug down maybe a little too harshly, so that a drop of coffee spilt over the brim and landed on the table. He immediately reached for a paper napkin and wiped the drop under Jun's look, murmuring, “Sorry for that.”

Jun chuckled again. “Ah, no, I’m sorry, I was just making a joke.”

Sho swallowed, not being able to let the other man's comment go. Was it a date, though? Nino hadn’t said it was supposed to be a date. Jun probably just really had joked right now, or he had said that out of habit, because _he_ used to go on dates with his boyfriend Aiba, right? No, that with him and Nino, that wasn't a _date_! Sho would definitely not mind it being a date, but if Nino's intention was a different one, it simply wasn't and he had to accept that. What was he thinking, anyway?

“Sho, you OK?” Jun's voice reached Sho's ears, who quickly looked up.

“Ah, yes. I was just thinking...,” he replied, chuckling slightly nervous and trying hard to find words to guide the conversation into another direction. “I also want to finish setting up my room and I don’t know, maybe, when it’s finished, I might make a small room tour for my channel or something…”

“Sounds nice,” the man sitting opposite of him nodded. “If you still need help with something, let us know. As you heard before, Satoshi isn’t busy at all today and can surely give you a hand.”

“Uhm… actually, there’s that other painting I wanted to finish,” the man mumbled, and it was probably the longest sentence Sho had yet heard the man speak.

“It’s fine, don’t bother, Ohno-san!” Sho replied, immediately, waving his hands.

“So far, your channel is focussed on reviews, right? Movies, and books?” Jun picked back up their talk.

Sho nodded. “Yes, and music, sometimes.”

“That’s cool,” the other man replied.

“Thanks,” Sho said, smiling. “I really enjoy it, actually, but I was hoping to branch out into other video content, too, in the future.”

“Any concrete ideas, yet?”

Actually, Sho had wanted to wait for Nino's return and talk to his friend about this topic, first, but then, he figured, it couldn't hurt to get some input by other people, too. After all, they were all in the same boat – kind of – at least with their professions (or semi-professions, in some of their cases) and no matter who in this sharehouse Sho would be talking to about being on YouTube, he would probably be able to learn a lot from them.

“Honestly, I’m not completely sure yet,” Sho finally replied, frowning. “I’m tempted to try various things to see what kind of content fits me and what my viewers might enjoy. Maybe do some of those popular challenges, or start exploring Tokyo, vlogging about it, and stuff like that...”

“Hm, I see,” Jun hummed. “I hope you can find what works best for you. You know, we could also do some collabs once in a while, if you want.”

Sho's eyes widened in excitement. “Really?”

Jun laughed. “Yeah, why not? I’m sure, Nino would like to collab with you, too, has he never said anything about it?”

“Well, we talked about making joined reviews, like, discussions about movies, perhaps, so, I guess we’re kind of planning to do some in the future,” Sho replied, slightly rubbing his neck. The thought alone to create videos like that together with Nino made him all excited, already.

“That’s nice! And if you’d like to collab with me –“

“Jun is always searching for victims for his cooking,” Ohno chimed in, his voice clearer than before.

Sho frowned at the other man.

“Victims?!” Jun burst out. “Says the second most frequent guest on my channel! You love trying my desserts!”

“Ah, wait, I think I saw one of those videos!” Sho chimed in, laughing. “ _The Sweets Club_ , right? Also featuring Aiba-kun, of course.”

“Exactly,” Jun pointed his index finger at his new roommate. “Wanna join next time?”

“Actually, I’d love to! I love desserts!” Sho exclaimed, smiling brightly.

“Great! Then expect an invitation to my next episode.”

TBC


	3. Welcome to our party

Of course, the _cinema date_ with Nino had not been a _real_ date in the classical sense. Sho had known that, everyone had known that. It had just been a meeting of two friends, going to watch a movie together. However, even without the romantic connotation, Sho was secretly dreaming of, going to the movies together with Nino was something special. And it didn't become less special, the more often they went, not even after they made it into a regular thing, like once or twice a week, depending on how many movies they wanted to see and how much time they had at hand. Sometimes, Jun and Aiba tagged along, if they were interested in the movie and if they were invited. Only Ohno really didn't care about movies, except they had something to do with music, then, at rare occasions, he'd make an exception, he said. Most of the time, though, it was only Nino and Sho.

The two men gradually made it a habit, to go to a café or a restaurant after going to the cinema, to get something more filling than popcorn into their stomachs, and to discuss the respective movies they had seen on that evening. At their second cinema outing, they had already decided to record their discussion, so they had simply set up one of their phones in an angle that showed both of them and started talking away. Their first discussion video was featured on Nino's review channel, to reach a bigger audience, as he had significantly more subscribers than Sho, however, the second one of those videos was shared on Sho's channel. Indeed, Nino's plan, to direct some of his own viewers to Sho's channel had proven to be a working tactic, and from that point on, they alternated uploading their videos on their two channels.

Besides the new format of movie reviews on Sho's channel, there had been other changes in his life, of course. The change of place, and getting used to the new area he was now living in, as well as the new living situation in the share house, were just the most obvious changes. In fact, Sho had to admit, that he managed to get used to it quite fast and that he really enjoyed, it, despite those reoccurring moments of overwhelming nervousness when he was with Nino. If that would be something, he'd ever get used to?

There was also his new job, which proved to be more demanding and exhausting than he had initially expected, simply because of the frequency of the branch of the book shop chain he was working for was so high, that it was hard to find just one calm moment to breath during a shift. In short, his first few weeks in Tokyo had been quite a handful to deal with. And thus, he still had not managed to come up with a more precise new concept for his channel. He hadn't even found the time to film a proper tour in his new room, yet.

“How about filming a whole house tour, instead?” Aiba suggested one day at breakfast when the whole group was present.

Sho looked at the other man, his eyes getting bigger and rounder from the sudden excitement. “You mean, I should not only show my room but also this area and the living room and all of the other rooms upstairs?”

Aiba shrugged. “Well, why not?”

“Really?” Sho asked again, looking from Aiba to Jun, over Ohno and to Nino sitting at his side. “So far I've only introduced Nino on my channel as we share our movie reviews now, but I haven't fully spoken yet about where I live now and with whom... Would it really be OK for you guys if I showed all of this – including you – to my audience?”

“Does this mean I have to clean up my room?” Ohno asked, yawning as if this was his only concern about the situation. Probably, it was.

“Only if you want Sho's viewers to think you're a tidy person,” Jun said, grinning.

The older man seemed to consider his options for a while, folding his arms and frowning a little bit, before he just shrugged and said, “Oh well, why should I lie to them.”

Nino laughed out loud, the sound of his laughter warming Sho's ears. “That means, he's nothing against it,” Nino replied once he had calmed down from his laughing fit. “You can also film my room if you want to. I will tidy it up, just a little bit, though, and this has nothing to do with lying to an audience, I just think it's not wrong to make a good impression on your people.”

“That's great, Nino, thank you!” Sho beamed. “And how about you, Jun-kun? Aiba-kun?”

“Well, I'd like to make the bed properly before anyone films in our bedroom,” the young man replied, matter of factly, before he bent over to Aiba, whispering. “I guess, we should better not suggest that we are _both_ sleeping in that bed.”

Aiba sighed slightly as he let his fingers stroke over his boyfriend's face, but his smile wasn't completely sincere. “Hm, I guess, it would be better, right?”

Although Sho usually tried his best to ignore the two love birds flirting in front of them – he kind of had become used to that view, but it was still slightly embarrassing and making him a little nervous – he couldn't help but start wondering. Indeed, they were sharing one bedroom – Aiba's, as far as Sho had found out without being too curious, however, of course, there was also Jun's room. He'd only been there once so far, when Jun had shown him some of his books, and it had just looked like a normal bedroom – except, that the bed there was usually unused. At least, in regards to sleeping in it, because Sho had definitely seen it in some of Jun's vlogs. So, at least, the young man pretended to live in that room, sleep in that room, even if he didn't. It wasn't Sho's place to be too curious, however, Aiba's unusually restrained reaction just now had tickled his curiosity.

Sho swallowed, hoping it wouldn't be too impolite to address the topic on his mind, but he couldn't hold back anymore. “I'm sorry but... may I ask you two something?”

Aiba, who had proceeded to plant a small kiss on Jun's cheek, turned his face, wondering. “What is it, Sho-chan?”

The man looked at the couple, his cheeks probably as red as they felt hot. “Why is it that you two are hiding your relationship? I mean... I can imagine the reasons why, but... if you don't mind, I'd like to hear them from you, directly,” Sho said. In the corner of his eyes, he could see Nino lowering his coffee mug and staring at him. Was it too strange of a question, after all? “I'm really sorry, if I'm being too curious, I understand if you don't want to share your reasons with an almost-stranger...”

“Don't be ridiculous, Sho-chan,” Aiba chuckled softly. “You're our friend now, we trust you. Sure, we can tell you, right, Jun-chan?”

Jun shrugged, as if to say _”I guess so,”_ which was enough for Sho.

“Thank you.”

“As to why we're hiding our relationship, I guess, we're just not comfortable to share it too openly. I guess, for me, it wouldn't be too much of a problem if it came out that we're dating, as I'm more or less self-employed and mostly working from home, but we don't know how Masaki's boss would take it and so, we don't show it too directly,” Jun was the one who started the explanation.

“You mean, Aiba-kun could get into trouble at work?” Sho asked for clarity.

“It's sad but it's a possibility,” Nino surprisingly chimed into the conversation. When Sho turned his head, the young man was looking down as if he wanted to drown in his coffee. He murmured. “Don't forget how most of Japan still thinks about gay couples...”

“Yeah...,” Aiba added, his expression slightly bitter. “We can be grateful that you guys are accepting us the way we are, so do our parents, luckily, but we're aware, that not everyone is so open-minded.”

“Personally, I don't care that much what others might think of me, but I absolutely do not want to risk Masaki getting bullied or anything,” Jun added, his eyebrows furrowed. “So, even if we would like to tell the whole world... It's just to be on the safe side.”

“Don't you think that people – if they really want – will find something else to tease or bully one for? I mean, don't get me wrong, I understand the situation and of course, I will respect your wishes and try not to show any hints to your relationship when filming in this house, but still...,” Sho sighed. Well, probably, some things were not different in Tokyo than from where he came from, which would also mean, that he should better be careful.

“Thank you,” Aiba replied.

Sho smiled at the couple, but he could feel that not only his mood but rather the whole atmosphere in the room had turned somewhat gloomy. He couldn't even pinpoint where exactly it came from. From Jun and Aiba? Himself? Or from Nino, who was still busy staring down the hot drink in his hands? The young man looked more concerned than Sho had expected, but he didn't want to dig deeper, and he also didn't want to think any deeper about the conversation they had just right now.

It was Ohno then, who suddenly broke the weird silence and started praising Jun's cooking skills, which triggered a demand of refills for breakfast around the table. Jun happily jumped up to get more food for his friends, Aiba looking after his boyfriend with a loving smile, before he tried to start a conversation about another topic with Sho and Nino. Like this, the mood slowly but surely recovered and soon, everyone was laughing again.

“Guys...,” Jun suddenly said, when he sat back down. “Maybe you think it's stupid or annoying or whatever, but, I just had an idea.”

“Which one?” Aiba asked, curiously, immediately, and with that, it all began.

“Why don't we make a joined vlog channel?” Jun asked, his eyes sparkling. “For all of us, in this sharehouse?”

“A share house vlog channel?!” Aiba immediately seemed to jump on his boyfriend's train of thoughts, excitedly. “Oh, what a lovely idea, wouldn't that be -”

“Why now?” Ohno threw in, drawing everyone's attention to himself.

“That is a very good question, Satoshi,” Jun nodded. “Well, that is because before, when Kazama-kun was still living with us, this was just a random group of people sharing a house, with the odds of four out of five sharing their passion for YouTube. However, _now_ , thanks to our newest addition,” he pointed at Sho, who awkwardly smiled at that when he didn't know to react, “This has transformed into a YouTuber share house! We're all showing our faces on camera, we're not shy – or at least don't care too much – to share our daily lives... Think of the potential!”

“Oh, I _really_ love that idea, think about what we could do all together,” Aiba chimed in, “We can hold mukbangs, and film us at karaoke or play some games on camera, wouldn't that be fun?”

“True, we don't have to limit it to vlogs, we can do challenges, too, of course,” Jun said, smiling at his boyfriend. “I also think that it might be a good thing for those of us who don't have that many viewers yet, as people might get curious about your channels. Similar to collabs, you know?” Jun said.

He didn't need to spell it out, but it was clear that Jun was referring – again – to Sho here, and Sho had to admit, that the other man had a point. He smiled, the idea grew on him even more. This wouldn't only be fun, in personal terms, it would also be a great honour to be part of such kind of a YouTube project. Sho knew that if they'd combine all of their viewers' numbers, even if not all of them would follow their potential new group channel, they'd have a pretty strong audience. Perhaps, all of them could profit from this.

“And how exactly are you planning to do this, give us all access to your channel and upload random stuff like crazy? Wouldn't that be too chaotic?” Nino made a point.

“No, no, don't get me wrong,” Jun replied. “I'm not trying to say that you should all upload your vlogs to only one channel or something, it would indeed become a mess. I was rather thinking of something like a joined weekly vlog and like Masaki suggested, we could also add more joined content, like challenges, maybe discussion rounds and so on. Think of it as kind of a bonus to your own respective channels?”

“But what about... you know...,” Sho intervened, gesturing between Jun and Aiba, “Wouldn't it be a bit risky? The chance that your relationship gets outed would be given, no?”

“Well, since we decide how to edit our videos, I don't think that should be a problem. Of course, we'll just show what all of us want to.”

“Hm... Will you edit those vlogs and such?” Nino asked, grinning.

“Sure, I can, if you all like,” Jun slightly rolled his eyes, but grinned. Apparently, he knew that he could score with Nino if he said he'd do the hard work.

“I like the idea,” Ohno said, laid back. “I don't have much to say and usually don't even bother to vlog for my channel, but I wouldn't mind appearing in group vlogs.”

“See? Ohno's viewers would be thrilled to see some bonus content about him!” Jun cheered.

Ohno chuckled, slightly embarrassed. “I'm not sure about that...”

“What do you think, Sho-kun?” Jun asked. “Those vlogs wouldn't interfere with whatever videos you want to put on your channel, it's also fine if there are some overlaps, and as I said before, I offer to do the editing and such. Of course, whoever wants to contribute here, is welcomed to do so, and yes Nino, before you ask -,” the young man had put up a hand to stop Nino, who was standing there with his mouth opened already, “If we make any profit from those videos, that money will go straight into the share house's joined budget.”

Nino closed his mouth, apparently satisfied with that answer and when his glance brushed Sho's, he grinned. Sho smiled in return before he looked back at Jun.

“Actually, this makes me really excited!” the young man replied. He could feel his cheeks warming up already at the promise of many fun joined future projects with all of these kind people, including Nino, of course. “Oh, wait, what would you say about using my share house tour video as some kind of introduction to the channel?”

“That would be perfect!” Jun exclaimed.

“OK, let's do a majority voting!” Aiba suggested, already raising his hand in excitement. “Who's voting with yes for the channel?!”

Hands flew up and Jun's smile broadened and then a flush of creativity burst and tinted the room in all sorts of colourful ideas. While Sho took it upon himself to make a list of all their ideas that popped up during this spontaneous brainstorming session, all of them contributed in one or the other way. Ohno and Nino started setting up some rules, to protect all their privacies, like for example never secretly enter one’s room and film them while sleeping, or enter the bathroom without knocking. Or course, all of them agreed, even if, Aiba seemed to be a little more lenient with it, saying that he didn't mind if people saw him in his underwear.

There was a lot of laughter, sometimes even screaming, and this was another moment in which Sho just couldn't believe how lucky he was, and how happy, that he had eventually accepted Nino's offer to move to Tokyo and join this share house.

He really liked all of his roommates. Aiba, the cheerful friendly guy, who'd go out of his way to make things comfortable for everyone. Ohno, who contributed to the atmosphere with his calm and carefree character, that gave one the feeling that no matter who you are or what you are, here in this group you'd be free to be exactly that and more. Jun, the one calling order, if needed, but also the one who took good care of everyone with his cooking, and then, of course, Nino.

Nino was the one who connected everyone, who kind of took the role of a bridge between his extroverted best friend Aiba and his probably even more extroverted boyfriend on the one side, as well as the introverted Ohno on the other. And now, he had brought Sho into this weird but lovely bunch of people, and that had triggered something that might become just as special as they were all now dreaming about. Nino took care of everyone in his own special way. He wasn't as outgoing and showering others with affection as Aiba was, but he was always there if someone needed advice, he was honest and direct, if needed, but always supporting. He was also the technology hack of the group, and could probably fix any problem that might occur in this respect. He was the one everyone could rely on.

Sho smiled. It was like everyone in this house played a different, but equally important role and Sho was eager to find out which role there would be for him to play. If anything, he at least hoped that he could be as much of a confidant for Nino, as the other was for him, at least. He wanted to be there for him, support him, connect with him, even more than they did so far. But Nino could be reserved, and sometimes, Sho wondered, if it was just him who didn't know things about Nino, or if it was the same for the others, too.

While Sho started drifting off in his thoughts about Nino, Jun eventually made another round with freshly brewed coffee. Apparently, there was still one point on their list that they needed to discuss today.

“So, how shall we call our channel?” Jun asked. “Any ideas, guys?”

“Hmmm,” Sho was immediately invested in the question. It was never an easy task to name something like that. He could remember the painful hours brooding over the decision how to name his own channel, and even afterwards, he'd never been truly satisfied with it. “Something like _The YouTube Share House_ perhaps?”

“That sounds a little too boring, doesn't it?” Nino replied, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Right... and too generic, right? What if YouTube comes to claim the name and sues us,” Sho chuckled.

“ _The Five Dudes_!” Aiba blurted out.

Nino frowned even more, “What? Please, no!”

“Then make better suggestions!” Aiba pouted slightly.

“How about the English term Friends?” was Sho's next idea.

“That's that old TV series from the US,” Nino commented.

“It's a classic!” Sho intervened, his tone slightly offended.

Nino immediately rowed back, “I know! I didn't mean _old_ in a negative way, you know I love that series...”

“At least, that term is _so_ generic, that nobody can sue us for the usage of it,” Jun noted.

“I'd like something featuring the number 5,” came suddenly from Ohno's place. “To represent us as we are right now.”

Jun hummed. “I mean, he's right. None of us plans to move out of here soon, right?”

The long-established residents collectively negated and then all eyes were on Sho, who so far had thought of himself still being “on trial” or something, but now, things looked differently, right?

“Uhm, if you guys want to keep me, I'll gladly stay,” Sho said with a smile, although he looked at Nino, slightly insecure.

After their eyes met, Nino quickly averted his look and picked up his refilled coffee before he mumbled, “Of course, we want to keep you, are you stupid?”

Sho's heart skipped a beat, and he couldn't help but feel the warmth in his chest growing. He chuckled, when Nino shortly looked at him again, for just a second, as if he was embarrassed.

Jun cleared his throat, “So now that this is cleared... back to the name question.”

“So it _should be_ The Five Dudes, after all, shouldn't it?!” Aiba chimed in, determined.

“But _Dude_ , does that really sound good to you?” Nino crossed his arms.

“Then let's do _Mambo number 5_!”

Jun ruffled his boyfriend's hair. “Stop fooling around, Masaki.”

“5-coloured rainbow!” Aiba suggested next, looking at the others as if he wanted to add, _I'm NOT fooling around here!_

This time it was Sho who jumped in, trying to be as polite as possible, “Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against rainbows or any possible associations with it but... don't you think that's a bit over the top?”

Nino nodded to back him up. “Perhaps, it is.”

“Very likely, it is,” Jun added.

Aiba looked very unhappy about the reaction of his friends. “Oh come on guys, I'm the only one making suggestions here and you just shoot down every single one of my ideas, that's no fun!”

Nino hummed thoughtfully. “How about we use something featuring our initials?”

“Hm...,” Jun hummed back. “But wouldn't that sound strange?” he reached over to borrow Sho's pen and a piece of paper to take notes. “Let's play around a little bit... no. The only thing that sounds acceptable is AMNOS and that still sounds strange.”

“Well, it was just an idea,” Nino shrugged, leaning back again.

“It could have worked, the idea wasn't bad,” Sho found himself saying, earning a small but thankful smile from the other man that made his heart beat a little faster.

“It's not a big deal,” Nino replied, “We'll find something that suits us.”

Ohno spoke up again. “I'd stay with something featuring the number 5.”

“Oh-chan can be stubborn, right?” Aiba grinned.

“I like the idea too, though,” Sho said, earning a proud nod from the man seated at the head of the table.

Aiba took a deep breath. “Then I'll try again, how about Tomodachi5?”

Nino and Sho started giggling in unison and when they looked at each other, they even burst into laughter at their synched reaction.

“It's OK, no need to laugh at me like that, just say you don't like it!” Aiba protested, crossing his arms.

“No, I'm sorry,” Sho replied.

“That's cute, actually,” Nino answered, reaching his arm over the tabletop to pat his best friend's arm, apologetically.

“It's silly. Are we pre-schoolers or what?” Jun snorted, earning a disbelieving look from his boyfriend.

“Come on, Jun-chan, you can't really find all of my ideas stupid!” the man pouted.

Jun looked at his boyfriend with a loving look in his eyes, but his words shot him down, nevertheless. “Sorry, my dear, but words have never been your strength.”

Upon hearing that, Aiba crossed his arms stronger and pulled his lips between his teeth, probably, in order not to say something mean. He even turned away from his boyfriend, as if to indicate he was done talking to him for today.

“You do have other strengths, though!” Jun reached out o the other man after just a second of contemplating his options, but Aiba pulled away.

Nino touched Sho's upper arm, sending a shiver up to the other man's ear, before he leaned closer and whispers to him in a mixture of pity and amusement, “Watch out, the lover's quarrel is just a tear away.”

“Really?” Sho replied, shocked. He didn't want his friends to fight.

“No, I was kidding, it will be fine, don't worry,” Nino answered, chuckling.

And just in that Moment, Jun sneaked closer to his boyfriend and hugged him with a “Masaki, you know I didn't mean it like that,” and it was clear by just looking at Aiba, that Jun wouldn't have to convince him for long.

“How about Troublemaker5?” Nino suggested with a grin, before leaning towards Sho, adding in a whisper, “Although maybe it's not all five of us who are causing trouble.”

Sho tried not to laugh. Luckily, none of the others seemed to have noticed and so, the next suggestion that was being heard was Ohno's. “How about a simple Go-nin?”

“Go-nin?” Aiba repeated, trying out the sound of it and looking at his boyfriend.

“Hm...”

Nino slightly tilted his head. “Actually, I don't think it doesn't sound so bad. I kinda like it.”

Sho nodded in agreement, feeling his lips curl into a smile.

“It's also very basic, though and probably there's already an account out there that's named like that,” Jun noted.

Nino's eyes widened a little, “And what if we refer to our group as Go-nin and call the channel _Go-nin no share house_ or something?”

Jun snipped his fingers. “I think that should work. What do you guys think?”

Aiba and Sho nodded in unison. Ohno smiled broadly, a hint of pride shining through.

“Alright, then it's decided!” Jun exclaimed, full of excitement. “Thank you, Satoshi, for the great input!”

\+ + +

With this, the share house YouTube channel was born and named, and even an accompanying Instagram account was being created. Jun was mainly in charge of all of this but had handed everyone else the login data with the permission to upload pictures if those were not violating any of the few rules they had come up with together, to keep the account in some sort of, well... in order.

Ohno mostly stuck to post photos of his current WIPs, while Jun either shared pictures of his outfit of the day, or of his new creations in the kitchen. In the caption, he used to advertise for his upcoming cooking and baking videos and promised to share the recipes there in the description of his YouTube videos. 

Aiba was mostly posting pictures of his work in the zoo or pictures of the two share house cats Yuki and Sora. The pictures featuring the cats and at least one of the share house members quickly became the most liked. Well, who could not like a cute picture of Sho passed out on the living room couch after a long night of editing, with the cats climbing on top of him, Yuki even brushing her white fluffy tail over the young man’s face, or a picture of Nino gaming in his room, the grey cat slopping on top of his head? 

He also took a lot of random selfies together with the other members of the share house, with no clear line of what he wanted to depict. The fans of their Instagram channel thanked him with heart and blushing emojis for sharing precious pictures like Ohno and Jun sleepily brushing their teeth together in the bathroom, or Sho sorting the books in the living room following the authors’ surnames, just to show Nino on the next day, sorting the books back according to the colours of the rainbow. Spoiler – this had not been the first time this happened and yes, it took Sho to see the pictures on Instagram to a) realise that it was Nino undoing his work, and b) give up on trying to satisfy his occupational habit or sorting books after what he had learned was “the correct way”, so that Nino could have his way. 

Nino and Sho mostly took selfies after movie visits together, waving flyers and tickets from the movies they had just seen and advertising their upcoming discussion videos on their respective channels, or they posted random pictures from when they were hanging out around the city, shooting videos for Sho’s channel. There was a picture of Sho touching the paw of the Hachiko statue at Shibuya Station, countless pictures of Nino browsing games shelves of electronic stores in Akihabara, Sho trying weird ice cream flavours and a selfie of them enjoying coffee on the terrace of the famous café “Les Grands Arbres”, just to name a few.

“Isn’t it unusual to see Nino outdoors so often?” Jun asked one evening after dinner, as he was browsing through their Instagram profile and answered some of the comments. “Just a few months ago, Nino would have stubbornly refused no matter who of us would invite him out – except to the cinema, maybe. Sho-san, which kind of spell did you work on him?”

“I’m just helping him film his videos, of course, I have to go out for that,” Nino intervened, slightly annoyed by being called out by Jun.

“Oh… is it such a nuisance for you?” Sho asked, turning to his friend, worriedly. “To be honest, I was also surprised that you don’t refuse more often, I know you’re an indoor type, after all… but you seemed to enjoy our trips, so I stopped worrying.”

“So you are enjoying these outings?” Jun raised one of his eyebrows at Nino.

Nino shrugged, but Sho thought he could see a small blush on his friend’s cheeks. 

“I don’t _hate_ it, at least,” Nino murmured.

Sho beamed. “Then I’ll keep asking you to come with me.”

“Cute!” Aiba cooed but was quickly muted by Nino’s death glare.

Sho laughed. Aiba was right, Nino was cute when he was getting shy and embarrassed, even if he turned into a little grumpy cat then. And who knew, maybe he could even be a little proud about being able to get Nino to behave out of his comfort zone. At least, it made Sho feel a tiny little bit special, even if he tried not to let it go to his head.

The very first video on the group’s joint YouTube channel had indeed ended up to be Sho's share house tour, moderated by him and featuring all the other members and all of their rooms, properly introduced. Jun had helped him with the edition, and Nino had surprisingly revealed a so far hidden talent about himself to Sho when he had offered to write shorts songs as intro and outro to their videos on their channel. One of Ohno's paintings – a colourful splash of colours with their channel name as well as the silhouettes of two cats, all in white, on it – became the header of the YouTube-channel and one of Aiba’s first taken group selfie was used as their profile picture. It was a collaboration that had fallen together perfectly and it had only been the start of something really fun, and on top of that, really successful.

It was probably the diversity of content on the joint channel, that made it so much fun to watch, Jun tried to analyse way later on. 

As promised, Jun, who used to invite Aiba and Ohno regularly to his cooking channel when making sweets, also kept up inviting Sho to the format and it seemed like he was no less popular with Jun’s viewers than Ohno and Aiba. The format “The Sweets Club” was soon moved from Jun’s channel to the share house channel, and rapidly gaining in popularity. 

There were a couple of videos when Sho tried to follow some of Ohno's painting tutorials, just to fail miserably at it. No-one had expected Sho to be _that_ horrible at art. Nino, who helped Sho with filming those videos, once even laughed so hard from off-camera, that Sho almost got angry at him and challenged him on camera to join him. The next episode of this format was filmed by Ohno, who also was supposed to serve as the judge of who of the two men did a better job in following his tutorial at the end of the video. It turned out, that Nino was just as horrible in painting as Sho was, and thus, Ohno just called them both hopeless cases if they couldn’t do something as simple as following his easy tutorials, and forbid them to do arts ever again. 

Of course, since the format was highly amusing to the viewership, they didn’t stop, but from that point on kept competing in whose art was more frightening. Even if Ohno seemed to physically suffer each time he had to help out filming with the two – at least from laughing so hard that his stomach hurt – he kept on doing so. When Jun started teasing him about why, he said that he liked how Sho and Nino used to hum along the music while painting and that he was rather trying to get them to do a jam session or song covers together instead of following art tutorials. At one point, Sho said, they would consider it.

Another very popular format on the joint channel turned out to be the gaming session the 5 guys were holding on a soon monthly basis. Every second Saturday of the month, Nino would bring one of his consoles to the living room and all of them would play games together while eating delivery food and live stream parts of it. Since there were only four controllers but five players, they started to decide on which two people had to share one controller via Jan Ken Pon. 

Living and working together with the other guys from the share house quickly turned out to be the most fun Sho had ever had in his life. It wasn’t like his life had been bad before that, he had liked his job, had enjoyed spending time with his friends and family, but this was a new challenge, and thankfully, it was going way better than he had expected in the beginning.

Sho surprisingly quickly found out which types of videos he enjoyed making the most – the joined movie discussions with Nino, alternating on their two channels, basically every collab he did with any of the other guys for their joint channel, and travel vlogs around the city, exploring known or unknown areas and showing his viewers every possible side of Tokyo, he could find, for his own channel. 

Together with Nino he tried out new restaurants and cafés, followed some weird trends, check out diverse pop-up stores, participated in workshops, and vlogged about the most popular tourist spots, as well as hidden treasures in the side streets of the metropolis. He managed to upload at least one video per week – two, if he counted the movie discussions, as he and Nino had made it a goal to watch at least one movie per week – and the results showed quite quickly. His viewers praised him for his new content and he even got lots of new subscribers on his channel, thanks to people getting curious about his Tokyo vlogs, as well as viewers from the other guys’ channels or the joint channel swapping over. 

Besides all the fun video filming and editing, Sho's day job also seemed to go well. After just a few months, he even was offered a promotion to assistant branch manager, because the higher-ups valued his hard work ethic and polite manners so much, however, Sho politely declined. He didn't want to invest more hours in his day job but have enough time for his videos. Truth be told, he even planned to reduce his working hours in the future, but he kept this talk for another day, not wanting to disappoint his bosses even more.

Everything seemed to work out perfectly. That was, everything but Sho's relationship with Nino. Well, actually, there was nothing really wrong with it, their friendship was wonderful and he loved every single minute they spent together. However, for Sho, it felt like they did not really make any progress. 

Nino seemed a bit shy around him at times like when they accidentally bumped into each other, Nino would get all flustered and apologetic. Although he seemed quite touchy with the other members of the share house, especially when Aiba was hugging Nino and Nino didn't shake him off, like he did with Jun, but then, Jun was probably only doing it ironically and Nino, even if he was the one who liked to tease others, didn't really like to be teased back. Or, when he became clingy to Ohno, even more so when they were drunk. He didn't seem to display the same behaviour towards Sho, though. There were a few hugs, sometimes, yes, but Nino wasn't leaning on his shoulder or randomly poked his butt or anything like that, and Sho wondered, why that was. It didn't seem like Nino was specifically interested in Ohno, but sometimes, Sho would feel that slight sting of jealously in his heart.

“Touch me, too!” he had once yelled at Nino, when they had been dead drunk as a group, to celebrate their first subscriber milestone on YouTube.

Nino just had laughed. “Sho-chan wants to be touched by me?” he had asked while he had his arm around Ohno, the two of them occupying one side of the couch.

Sho had nodded heavily, his lips pursed.

“I can't do that,” Nino had giggled, again, “Maybe if I had another couple of beers!”

Sho had laughed at this statement, but in reality, he just had wanted to vanish into thin air at that moment, too hurt from the pain the rejection had caused. 

Hadn't they been cuddling up on the couch in his old apartment, just last year? What had happened to that? Instead of getting closer to Nino, sometimes, Sho felt like he was drifting away from him. On the other hand, though, Nino talked a lot to him, they spent so much time together, helped each other out, it was impossible that Nino had come to dislike him, right? So maybe, there was something else hidden behind his strange behaviour. 

Sho wondered, if there was any chance for him, to get closer to Nino, or if that was simply Nino's way to show him, that he wasn't interested in him _that_ way, not that Sho had ever said something to him in this regard. But no matter how distant Nino sometimes seemed to be, it didn't stop Sho from falling in love with him more and more. At some point, he was wondering, if he could even keep his secret any longer or if he would simply burst out due to his overwhelming love for Nino, if he didn't tell someone about it, soon.

Sho's best friend from his hometown, Bukki, eventually turned into that “someone”. They had kept in contact over the last months, anyway, via chat, via phone, and Bukki was also very active in the comment section of Sho's videos, as well as Nino's when it came to the movie discussions. After all, back in Hokkaido, it had been Bukki who had been dragged along to the cinema by Sho multiple times, and apparently, he had kept up the habit to watch the same things as Sho, so they always had something to talk about.

This time, Sho was jogging his evening round around the block, listening to music, when his phone rang. It was Bukki, who called in for the at least weekly check up on his buddy, greeting him cheerfully as usual. Sho slowed down his running and decided to finish his round with a walk while catching up with his best friend. After some first basic greetings and some updated on family and friends, the topic quickly shifted to Sho's non-existing love life.

 _“So, it's not going so well with Nino?”_ Bukki asked, and Sho could almost hear the smirk on his friend's face.

He sighed. “I don't know... we get along just fine, but it's a bit strange. Like... as if there's an invisible wall between us, sometimes? Which is strange because most of the time I think we click one hundred per cent, we can talk for hours about our joint interests. But sometimes, when the topics shift... he gets awkward. It seems like he doesn't fully trust me or something? I think, when he's troubled, he tends to keep that to himself. I knew that before but over the distance, it never showed so clearly... and whenever I try to offer him an open ear, he's not really responsive to my offer. I don't know if it's just me, though, or if he talks to nobody about his problems.”

 _“You mean specific problems?”_ Sho's friend asked. _”Did he hint on anything?”_

“Not exactly, but... like for example, I feel like he's not on the best terms with his family, but whenever I happen to ask further, he blocks and doesn't want to talk about it. Or just in general, when he's upset and I ask him what happened, he usually doesn't want to talk about it. And more than that, whenever I try to get closer to him... also physically, I mean, not that I do anything strange or so... it feels like he's avoiding me,” Sho replied. 

By now, he had come to a stop at a playground in the neighbourhood. It was already empty, parents must have gone home with their kids already before the sun had started to set. He sat down on an empty bench and dapped his still slightly sweaty face with the towel he was wearing around his neck while witnessing the evening break. The colours of the setting sun in the distance were still bright and dream-like, but the sky was darkening, slowly but surely. Sho sighed again. Only now, that he had finally talked about his worries about Nino, he felt exactly how insecure all of this made him feel. He felt helpless. He felt like there was something Nino needed help with, but for some reason, he couldn't be the one who provided it.

“I don't even know when this started... maybe I just never noticed because we weren't living together before,” Sho continued. “Or if it has something to do with me. Maybe I did something wrong?”

 _“Hm... I don't think so, you're too nice for your own good, Sho, so what should you do wrong?”_ Bukki said, his voice clearly sounding like he was trying to soothe Sho's mind. _“But, let's just assume something you did put him off for whatever reason, do you have any idea what that could be?”_

Sho frowned, wondering, and recalling some of the scenes between him and Nino in recent months.

“Not really, but it feels really weird that he seems to feel uncomfortable when I touch him,” Sho replied. “He doesn't seem to be against body contact in general, at least not when it comes to the other guys. So, the only idea I had was... that maybe he realised that I _like_ him and doesn't want to head-on dump me because he's too nice to do so?”

_“But you didn't tell him yet, how you feel, right?”_

“No, of course not!”

_“Did you make any move on him like... touch him in a certain way or make innuendoes?”_

“Uhm... not really? You know, I'm too shy to make any prominent move,” Sho answered. He could feel his cheeks blush a little. “I mean... one thing I try is to keep eye contact with him as long as possible, when we're talking, you know, just like it's normal? But in general, he seems to be someone who shies away from eye contact after a while. I guess that's an introvert thing?”

 _“Hm yeah, I heard about that, so that's possible,”_ Bukki replied. _” So let's assume he doesn't know anything yet. Can you describe his actions a bit further? Do you have some specific situations you can tell me about where you feel he's actively avoiding you?”_

Sho named a few examples, among others that one time when he was drunk and demanded Nino not only to cling to Ohno, but also to him, and Nino deemed it “impossible”. Yeah, that one had really hurt, apparently, as it was still getting to Sho, stirring him up. In the end, Bukki just laughed at him.

“What's so funny about that? Don't make fun of my pain!” Sho yelled into the phone.

_“Wah! Alright, I'm sorry, of course, this is not funny, but you know what?”_

“What?” Sho grumbled.

 _“To me, that sounds like a classic case of someone being super shy and not able to handle it.”_ Bukki started his analysis, while Sho listened closely. _“I told you once and I tell you now, I still think that he likes you. The way he looked at you when he came to Hokkaido to pick you up... the way he moved around you... the fact that he's spending so freaking much time with you and even accompanies you to wherever you go to film your videos, I think that's more than just a friend would do. Don't you realise he's jumping over his shadow for you? He's going all special for you. This could be a sign that he likes you the same way you like him.”_

Now that Bukki spelt it out for him, Sho remembered what Jun had said. That it was unusual for Nino to go out that much. That he had refused to help with outdoor shootings, even. That most of the time, the only way to get him outside during his spare time, was when there was a movie showing in cinemas that he wanted to see. Sho's thought from back then returned. Maybe, he _was_ something special to Nino, after all?

“So you think it's probably just because he's nervous around me?” Sho wondered. It was still hard to believe. “But he didn't even want to touch me when he was drunk..”

Bukki chuckled. _“But didn't you say he said something about _maybe after another couple of beer_? Maybe it meant that with a little more alcohol he would have been brave enough to touch you. Maybe, the problem is not you, but for him?”_

“Hm...”

_“Sho, did ever you confront him about this?”_

“No?”

 _“Damn you, shy idiots! Imagine you got two of those cowardice blockheads, no wonder the two of you make no progress!”_ the man on the phone scolded his friend.

“You... you're just trying to make me hopeful... when maybe, there isn't anything to be hopeful,” Sho blocked. Although his face was dry by now, he rubbed his towel over it. His heart was beating faster now, at the hint of hope that Bukki was giving him, but he didn't want to expect too much if he couldn't be sure. “And even if there'd be something, I don't think I can simply address that topic...”

_”Don't you remember your big words from when you left your hometown? That you wanted to give it a shot? I thought you weren't only talking about your YouTube career but also about your hopeless crush?”_

“I – I was!” Sho returned. “I just don't know _how_... you know, it's not like he's just some random guy, he's one of my best friends in the whole world and if things get awkward between us because of a confession... or if it doesn't work out and we come to be even more awkward, what if he wants me out of his life?”

 _“You'll never find out, if you don't take the risk, Sakurai!”_ Bukki declared. _”And if you don't move soon, then maybe, you'll lose him to someone else, sooner or later. Maybe to Ohno-kun for example?”_

“There's nothing between Nino and Ohno!” Sho said defensively. “Nothing would happen between them...”

_“Are you really sure about that?”_

“...Pretty much.”

_“You don't sound so sure. What if Ohno makes a move on him and he goes along with it because you couldn't hack it? Didn't you say, they seem quite close?”_

“I am pretty sure this won't happen, I said!” Sho spoke up.

He was indeed pretty sure about that. It was true, Nino and Ohno got along very well, even without talking much, they seemed to understand each other, however, Sho also so far had categorized that as an _introvert thing_. Nino and Ohno were alike in a lot of things. It was just natural that they'd get along well with each other. But of course, Sho couldn't say for sure if there wasn't more... There were some things, after all, that he didn't know about the others and especially Nino and Ohno could be very secretive. Nino never really talked about things like love, and so was Ohno. Thinking about it, Sho didn't even know if Ohno was even interested in things like love or sex, at all. Everything he talked about – if he was even speaking – was art and food. And for Nino, he didn't know anything about Nino's past love life, or his preferences, either.

“I don't even know if Nino is interested in men,” Sho said.

Bukki released a frustrated sigh. _“And we're back to the same old story... “What if he's straight?” Sho, if you ask me, he at least isn't uninterested in men, either.”_

“Even if, he isn't out in any way, officially,” Sho stressed. “So you might understand that it's hard to address this. What am I supposed to say, hey Nino, what do you think about kissing men?!”

 _“Maybe, you two just need a little help,”_ Bukki replied.

“What exactly do you mean?” Sho asked, wearily.

 _“Ah, I just remembered, I wanted to ask if I could come to visit you, soon?”_ Sho's friend suggested. _“It's been months now already since you moved and you only came home once for a long weekend, which is way too long ago. I think, now it's my turn.”_

Sho sighed. By now, the evening has fallen over the city, lights shining through the windows, street lanterns switching on. He stood up. This spot wasn't far from the share house, if he took a short cut it would probably take him no ten minutes to reach there, and he decided that he'd done enough exercise for the day. He also had a video to edit at home, so he better kept going if he wanted to upload it as scheduled.

“Well, it would be nice to meet you here, but... you don't plan anything suspicious, or do you?”

 _“Haha, as if I could. Of course, not!”_ Bukki replied, but obviously, Sho didn't believe him. _“You need to show me around Tokyo!”_

But what could he do now? He couldn't just refuse his friend a visit, and he really would like to see him, hang out with him, it's been too long, after all since he saw his best friend. Sho pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Sure, I will,” he chuckled, giving up. He would just need to be a bit careful and assure that Bukki wouldn't say anything strange to Nino or the like.

_“Oh, and I definitely want to go watch a movie together with you and Nino!”_

“Uhm...,” well, what harm could it do to go to the movies as a group of guys hanging out together? “I guess, we can arrange that.”

_“Good, then make some plans and I'll let you know my travel details once I booked everything.”_

“Sure! I can ask the guys if you can crash at our place. There's enough space, so I don't think it should be a problem, but of course, I need to ask their permission,” Sho started babbling, although a tiny voice in his head immediately questioned him if that was really such a good idea.

_“Would be great!”_

“Alright... I'll let you know about their answer,” Sho replied. It would be fine, right? Bukki wouldn't do anything stupid, right? He was his friend after all. He had to trust him. “Now that we talked about that and about me and my non-existing progress with Nino... tell me something about you! How's work? Any new helping hands who started recently?”

And indeed there was something to tell Sho, like about another change of colleagues and the transfer of a new beautiful young woman to Bukkis branch, Sho couldn't help but start teasing Bukki about. Apparently, there were also possibilities for a promotion to assistant branch manager, that Bukki's boss had hinted at him after last months team meeting, as well as an upcoming signing event of a local, but nationwide recognized author in their book store. 

Everything sounded exciting, and for a moment, Sho wished to be back at his old job. It had been so much fun to have a friend around all day. Not that his colleagues in the book store he was working at in Tokyo weren't nice people, but for some reason, Sho felt that they were all pretty reserved and not as easy to befriend like people were north. However, in his old job, there was no chance for Nino dropping by casually to buy some books or mangas and stealing some of Sho's minutes for a short chat, so maybe, that was the compensation for the loss of his favourite co-worker, Sho thought.

When the young man reached home, he found Nino in the kitchen fetching something to drink. 

“Alright then, I'll get back to you,” Sho spoke said into the phone while waving at Nino with a smile, who waved back, but already had his glass of water pressed against his lips, so there was no smile. “Thanks for the call, good night!”

“Hey,” Nino greeted him as he put down his glass.

“Hey,” Sho replied, still smiling. Oh no, was he smiling too much? 

“Good talk?” Nino asked, gesturing at the phone in Sho's hands.

Sho chuckled while disconnecting his headphones from the device and placing everything onto the kitchen table before reaching into the cupboard over the sink and getting a glass to fill with water for himself, too. 

“Yeah, good talk, you could say.” 

“Family?” Nino asked further.

“Uhm no, it was Bukki,” Sho replied. “Right, he told me to say hi to you.”

Nino raised his eyebrows. “Oh, thanks... Tell him back hi next time you talk.”

“Maybe you can tell him hi yourself, next time,” the other man said after drinking a few long sips of water. “He plans to pay me a visit here in Tokyo for a long weekend, and if it's OK with you guys, I'd like to offer him a place to sleep here for a few nights?”

“Oh,” was everything, Nino replied. 

“Well, if not, he can book a hotel, of course, but I thought since we have another guest room...,” Sho added.

“I guess you need to ask Aiba about that,” Nino offered with a shrug, suddenly sounding strangely indifferent. “It's his uncle's house, after all.”

“OK,” Sho said, slightly confused. 

So far, it didn't seem to have been a problem to have someone sleepover, there had been friends of Aiba crashing at their place, even Kazama and his wife had slept here once after Kazama had a few too many drinks after one of Jun's little dinner parties and didn't want his wife to have to drive in the middle of the night. And Sho even remembered Ohno bringing some random street artist he had picked up, who was allowed to stay and simply left after breakfast. So it shouldn't be a problem to let Sho's best friend stay here for a short while, right? But then, Nino was right, it had never been his decision.

“Then I'll do that,” Sho continued, even if he still wondered a bit about Nino's reaction. Sho then asked, “Uhm, I'm going to take the shower, need anything from the bathroom, first?” to keep the conversation going.

“Feel free,” Nino simply replied, shrugging, before he grabbed a can of beer from the fridge and a small bag of yuzu flavoured potato chips from the snacks stock in one of the kitchen cupboards and proceeded to go upstairs before Sho without saying anything further.

Sho stayed back for a few more minutes, still feeling slightly confused. Was Nino mad at him? His aura had been so cold just now... had he said something wrong? Or maybe, he was just in a bad mood, in general, Sho didn't know. Anyway, he decided to get a proper shower, edit his video, and then drop by at Nino's room, later on, checking up on his friend and maybe suggest watching a movie together or something. It would be fine.

Later on, when Sho had showered and was sitting at the desk in his room, working on his new video, he suddenly could hear Nino shouting from his room, next door. He didn't realise it first, as he was wearing headphones, but when the shouting became louder, Sho got irritated, wondering if everything was OK. He pulled off his headphones, saved the progress and went to Nino's door, knocking at it. 

“Come in~,” Nino yelled, and so Sho entered.

Nino was propped on top of his bed, lying on his stomach and he was obviously busy playing games. Super Mario Cart, to be exact, probably in online playing mode. Nino cursed when he missed one of the boxes along the road.

“Are you recording?” Sho asked, just to make sure.

“No~ just hanging out and playing,” Nino chuckled.

“Are you drunk?” Sho arched an eyebrow at his friend before his attention fell on the empty can of beer lying on the floor in front of Nino's bed. It was only one can, but Sho remembered very well that Nino wasn't taking well on alcohol.

“No way, just a little tipsy, perhaps,” Nino shrugged. “If you don't plan on joining me for the next round, you are advised to leave the gaming zone,” he added with a grin. “Argh, damned! I ended up in fourth place! Sakurai Sho, I blame you for distracting me!”

“How can I make up for my mistake?” Sho chuckled. 

“Go get us another bag of those ridiculously delicious potato chip and then come here play with me!” Nino demanded. “Maybe also more beer.”

Sho laughed. “Maybe I should better get us something else to drink.”

“Whatever, I'm thirsty!”

“Be right back!” Sho replied, rushing out of the room and downstairs. 

He smiled. When Nino wanted to spend time with him, his video could wait for a bit longer, he decided. If there had been anything awkward between them, then it would disappear the moment they sat down next to each other on Nino's bed, and enjoy playing games and snacking potato chips together. At least for that time, all the awkwardness between them was forgotten and Sho was really happy about it because no matter what was going on, he definitely preferred spending time and talking to Nino over not spending time and not talking to him.

In the end, the two of them played games for way too long into the night, so that at some point, they both fell asleep next to each other on Nino's bed. When Sho woke up in the morning as his alarm on his phone went off, he realised some heavyweight on his chest, and when he opened his eyes, there was Nino, still, fast asleep and cuddled up to him underneath the blanket Sho had no recollection of by whom and when it had been put over them. Sho's heart immediately started racing. This was probably the closes of body contact they had established over the last weeks, he remembered and in order not to disturb his friend's sleep – and so he could enjoy lying here in this position for just a little longer – he reached into his pockets and deactivated the alarm. He sighed, but enjoyed the next about ten to fifteen minutes to no end, feeling Nino's weight and warmth, inhaling his scent, until he really had to get up. 

\+ + +

Saying that Nino wasn't bothered by the visit of Sho's friend Tsumabuki Satoshi on the next weekend, would be a lie. The young man had travelled from Hokkaido to Tokyo for a prolonged, five day weekend, and – of course – Aiba had invited him to stay at the share house for that time.

Nino wasn't sure what annoyed him most about the situation – having another loud person around for five days, Sho's excitement over his friend coming to visit – he acted as if nothing else was important anymore – or having to share Sho with that guy. Because yes, maybe Nino didn't show it too openly, but he enjoyed it quite a lot when Sho's undivided attention was on him. 

In the end, Nino decided that it was the better option to stay around and having to share Sho's attention, than letting the two men go on their own, not knowing what they were up to. Besides, it even had been Sho who had to invite Nino to join them on their tour around the city, and so Nino didn't even feel guilty when he accepted the offer. He even took a day off from work as his schedule and Tsumabuki's visit overlapped. Was that being weird? Was he being paranoid? Maybe a little bit, but Nino couldn't help it. At least, he wanted to keep an eye on Sho's friend, making sure he wasn't doing anything strange. 

In fact, he didn't know much about Tsumabuki, except what Sho had told him about his friend slash previous co-worker, and he had only met him once. At that time, Tsumabuki had been strangely cautious about Nino, even if he had never said or done anything strange to him, still, for Nino, it felt like there was something in the bush, even if he couldn't point a finger on it. 

Apparently, among other things he wanted to do around Tokyo, Tsumabuki had requested to go to the cinema together with him and Sho during his stay, and who was Nino to refuse Sho to bring his friend with him to their regular _cinema date_? Of course, he couldn't have said no, it would have been ridiculous and suspicious and probably just cause unnecessary problems. And it wasn't like Nino had anything against taking other people with them for their cinema evenings, it was just that something about having Tsumabuki around made Nino feel extremely uncomfortable. 

Maybe, it was because he didn't know the other man that well, yet. Maybe, because he didn't get the insiders that were there between Tsumabuki and Sho. Maybe, he didn't like how Tsumabuki casually grabbed Sho's arm or clung to his elbow as if they weren't just old friends, but an old couple. Yes, if he had to put it into words, he probably felt insecure because he didn't fully understand the dynamic between those two guys. Were they really just good friends? Or was there something more between them?

Another thing Nino definitely did not like, was that Tsumabuki dared to set himself right in the middle of the three seats they chose for watching the movie, and with a look on his face as if he was actively trying to provoke Nino to prompt him to change seats so that he could sit next to Sho. Of course, Nino didn't give in to that provocation, even if that meant, that for once, he couldn't share popcorn with Sho, and instead kept wondering just why on earth Tsumabuki even wanted to show off his closeness to Sho that desperately, when then, he caught himself thinking something very similar. But seriously, what was this going to be, a silent battle for Sho's attention? Had they fallen so low?

For the time of the movie screening, Nino tried his best to ignore the whispering beside him when Tsumabuki leaned over to Sho, talking to him about things in the movie, that usually, Nino would have pointed out to him. For the whole time of the duration of the movie, Nino felt like he was the fifth wheel, and even afterwards, when the three men chose to sit down in a nearby café and order some drinks to keep discussing the movie, Nino didn't talk much.

When Sho asked him if something was wrong, Nino felt bad, and just swindled that he was having a slight headache, upon which Tsumabuki suggested that Nino could go on home if he wanted to lay down and rest. Of course, Nino refused, earning a suspicious look from Sho's friend. 

Nino definitely didn't like how Tsumabuki seemed to try to bring him out of his shell, without knowing what exactly the man was up to. What Nino disliked the most about the whole situation, though, was how unerringly Tsumabuki's strategy seemed to hit him, how it made him realize just how jealous he was really feeling around him. It was an involuntary, very unpleasant feeling, one, he had barely experienced before. It made him worry that it could darken his feelings and make him appear as a problematic person, even more unworthy of Sho than he already felt. 

Nino wanted to vanish.

Things didn't get better, the more the day proceeded, as Tsumabuki seemed to be especially clingy to his friend on that day, and during karaoke, Nino finally snapped.

In the beginning, it had just been fine. They had picked one of the karaoke bars in the area, rented a room for 2 hours and ordered some melon and peach soda, whatever they preferred. Since Tsumabuki seemed to know that not only Sho but also Nino loved singing, he left the choice of songs to the two men, who then spent about five minutes with putting together a quick playlist consisting of old classics as well as modern hits from international as well as national artists. Since Nino was too embarrassed to sing any of the songs just by himself, Sho offered to join, and so did Bukki. 

It was fun, as long as they were just singing to upbeat dance and energizing rock songs, and slurping their sodas, but as soon as one of the more cheesy love songs they had picked popped up on the playlist, the fun mood shifted, immediately. 

“Aw... do you remember when we sang that song last time?” Tsumabuki asked, turning to Sho. “You've just been dumped and you were _so_ upset and sad...”

“No need to remind me of that,” Sho chuckled. “I've overcome that and re-learned to appreciate the song for what it is.”

Tsumabuki laughed. “It's OK to have sad memories, too, Sho, remember how I comforted you back then? I bought you some drinks and you cried on my shoulder and I embraced you for the rest of the evening. Just like this –”

And while saying that, the young man threw his arms around Sho and pressed him close into a hug, wrapping his arms around him, petting his head with one hand, and swaying slightly from side to side. First, Nino didn't think much about it, what was a hug between friends, after all, but when Tsumabuki didn't let go off Sho anymore and Sho started giggling like a schoolgirl, Nino frowned.

“I said, who needs a crush if they can have me comforting them, right?” Tsumabuki chuckled, still clinging to his friend.

“It's OK,” Sho said chuckling, but despite his words, he did nothing to loosen the embrace. “Enough of that now.”

“But you enjoy cuddling, don't you?” Tsumabuki asked, “I wonder if you're getting enough cuddling in your current living situation. If you feel the need to catch up, I can always come to visit and cuddle up with you, just give me a call.”

By now, Nino felt like there were goosebumps all over his body. The sensation of being jealous of that man being able to be so carefree that he could hang around Sho's neck just so casually, and even more without a single drop of alcohol in his body, made Nino want to trow up. He didn't know what was worst, the feeling of being useless, because he couldn't just do something like that without being scared to jump his crush and being awfully rejected, or the wish to just push Tsumabuki back onto the couch and taking his place. 

He swallowed hard and tried to ignore everything and focus back onto the song that was still playing. Sho did the same, but soon after, Nino could hear him giggle once more and when he turned back to Sho and Tsumabuki, Sho was just being pulled down onto the couch, where his friend pressed him against the backrest and cuddled up to him right next to him until he even started to nuzzle his nose against Sho's neck.

That sight was enough for Nino. That was when he snapped. He stopped singing immediately, dropped the microphone, and dashed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

At that moment, Nino didn't care how this must look like if he made a complete fool out of himself or whatever, but he just couldn't bear that sight any longer. He felt his eyes sting with tears that he tried to fight, and his heart was beating so high up in his throat, that he thought he might get difficulties to breathe. He quickly walked down the corridor and took the stairs to the ground floor, not bothering to look back, if any of them might follow him. Well, why should they? Tsumabuki was doing his best to occupy Sho and who knew if he was really flirting with him or just fooling around, maybe, Sho even enjoyed that kind of attention? Nino rather didn't want to know any more details. 

For a moment, Nino wondered, if things would be different if he'd just be brave enough to finally accept and stand true to his feelings. He wondered, how Sho would react if he had just told Tsumabuki to stop with his flirtatious behaviour, and he even imagined how Sho would react if he was finally brave enough to tell him how much he had fallen in love with him over the past few months. Would he look down on him with disgust? Would he feel flattered? Maybe, even happy? 

It hurt Nino to realise that he just didn't know enough about Sho regarding things like that. He wasn't able to estimate his possible reactions, at all. Why had they never talked about stuff like love, sexual preferences and all those things? Right, because Nino never talked about such things, period. And now, that's what he got from it. He didn't know anything about Sho's past relationships, he didn't know if that person that Tsumabuki had mentioned and who apparently had dumped Sho, had been a guy or a girl, he didn't know if Sho was crushing on anyone right now, he didn't know what exactly there was between Sho and Tsumabuki. What if they were ex-boyfriends and Tsumabuki was trying to win Sho back? Nino shook his head. He didn't even want to think about that possibility, because if so, then him leaving the room just now had probably been the wrongest move he could have made.

Before exiting the karaoke place, Nino informed the receptionist, that he was leaving early and that his friends would pay the bill. When he set foot out into the busy streets of Tokyo, the still bright daylight was dazzling. The sensation made one of Nino's tears run down his cheeks, but he quickly lifted his jacket's sleeve and dried his eyes, before he started walking away.

\+ + +

“What are you doing, now he left!” Sho exclaimed. 

Bukki shrugged, a triumphant grin on his face. “He’s jealous.”

“No matter what, he was clearly upset. I don't want him to feel like that,” Sho said, carefully shaking his friend from his shoulder and standing up. “You did that on purpose, didn't you?”

“Oh, come one Sho, of course, I did!” Bukki replied, rolling his eyes. “I did that for you! I wanted to show you – both of you – that there are deeper feelings than friendship involved on Nino's side. Do you believe it now?”

Sho sighed, feeling troubled. “I'm not convinced that was a good idea. Wait here, I’m quickly going after him, maybe I can still catch him.”

“Good luck with that,” Bukki replied while choosing the next song on the playlist. “I'll wait here and sing a love song for you. OK, now don't look at me like that, I'm sorry, OK? I might have overdone it. Now hurry, or your sensitive plant is gone.”

“I'll be right back,” Sho said and started running.

After rushing down the stairs, he exited the karaoke bar after yelling to the confused looking stuff member at the reception desk that there was still another person left in their room and that he would come back as soon as possible, and immediately started looking for Nino. He looked left and right, but the footways were busy and he didn't know how fast Nino had rushed away. Then, Sho spotted a mop of black hair, which might or not might belong to Nino, but he decided to give it a try, anyway. He started running, slaloming around pedestrians and eventually caught up with the person he'd thought to be his friend. And – thank god – according to the matching jacket and shoes, he spotted that person wearing, he had been right!

“Nino! Nino!” Sho yelled to catch his friend's attention. When he reached him, Nino just quickly looked over his shoulder but didn't slow down his walking speed. Sho panted. “Hey, wait, where are you going?”

“I'm going home,” Nino grumbled, his hands in his pockets and. “Obviously, I'm just a disturbance anyway.” He really sounded angry...

“That's not true!” Sho immediately countered. “I want you there, I want to spend time with my best friends!”

“Is _that_ what you call spending time with your best friends?” Nino snapped, stopping for a second before he continued walking. “First, in the cinema, you two were acting like I wasn't even there, and now at karaoke, your friend is flirting with you like crazy, if you don't mind, I didn't come to watch you guys being like that!”

Sho burned to ask _”Why?”_ but he knew, that wasn't the important thing right now. He didn't want to make Nino even angrier, after all.

“Are you a couple or what?!” Nino suddenly burst, coming to a halt. 

“What, no! We're just good friends!” Sho said. He sprinted a little forward, taking the chance that Nino had stopped, and grabbed him by the wrist. “Believe me, Bukki was just fooling around, I'm sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable. Now please, let's go back and enjoy the rest of the evening.”

“You have your Bukky, so go, enjoy your time with _him_ ,” Nino murmured, trying to shake Sho off, but when it didn't work at the first try, he gave up.

“But you are also my best friend,” Sho exclaimed. “He can be a bit over the top sometimes, and it's my bad for playing along, but please, don't be mad, OK?”

Nino pouted, and if the situation right now wasn't so serious, Sho would have melted at this cute view. “I'm not mad... I'm annoyed.”

“We didn't mean to upset you,” Sho said, speaking for himself, at least. “Come on, let's go back and sing a couple more songs. Please?”

“I don't want to,” Nino continued pouting. “Just let me go home and enjoy your time with your friend.”

“I don't want you to be mad, Nino,” Sho lamented.

“I'm not mad, OK?” Nino groaned.

Sho frowned at his friend. “I don't believe you.”

“Fine, then don't believe me,” Nino rolled his eyes. “I'm still going home.”

“You're stubborn.”

“You are, too. Now stop it, you can't force me,” finally, Nino brushed off Sho's hand.

“I'm really sorry,” Sho repeated, giving up on pushing the other man. “So... see you at home, then?”

“Well, we both live there, so I guess so,” Nino said. The sharpness in his voice hit right into Sho's heart.

“Uhm... shall I get some of your favourite snacks on the way home? We could watch a movie together with all the guys,” Sho tried to reconcile.

“For all I care...,” Nino mumbled, starting to walk again.

“Be careful on the way home, OK?” Sho called after him.

Nino turned around for a moment, making some dramatic gesture. “I'm not a child, Sho, I can cross a street and ride the subway just fine!”

“Watch out!” Sho yelled, when cyclist passed Nino so quickly, that he almost lost balance from the surprise.

“Don't distract me, that's dangerous!” Nino yelled back, turning around and stomping away.

“OK,” Sho just replied. “See you later.”

Nino didn't reply or turn around anymore, and so, all that Sho could do was watch his friend until he was out of sight, swallowed by the masses flooding the crossing. He felt bad, really bad. But Nino was right, he couldn't force him to do something he didn't like. So what's left was going back to the karaoke bar and talk to Bukki, hoping that if his friend would stop acting like that, something like that wouldn't happen again.

Of course, Sho understood, that Bukki, who apologized again, this time properly, when Sho came back to the karaoke booth, just had wanted to help him. However, his strategy had completely backfired. Instead of making Nino admit that he might like Sho, Nino had backed off, offended and sulking like a child who didn't want another child to play with their best friend. Even if Nino was being jealous, there was no security, that this meant he had a crush on Sho. Maybe he just didn't want to share his friend. Anyway, Sho felt horrible.

Bukki quickly realised that Sho wasn't concentrated enough any longer to focus on karaoke, and thus, after finishing up their drinks and the last three songs on the playlist they had made, the two men left the place. Like Sho had offered Nino, they dropped by at a convenience store and stocked up a bit on snacks – including Nino's favourite yuzu flavoured chips, and then returned back home to the share house.

Jun was preparing dinner already, Nino – still sulking – helping him to cut vegetables for a side salad, and soon after, they all ate together before ending up spread over the couch and the living room floor to watch a movie. Aiba had picked a funny animation film, so that helped to loosen the atmosphere again, and by midnight, the group was playing Jan Ken Pon over which would be their last movie before finally going to bed.

When it was time for Bukki to leave back to Hokkaido, Nino was there to accompany Sho as he escorted Bukki to the train station after his 5 days stay at Tokyo. After making up – sort of – and Bukki holding back in trying to provoke Nino for his friend's sake, the air between them had calmed down and the rest of his stay had actually been quite present. In the end, Bukki even invited Nino to feel free to accompany Sho for a visit when Sho would come back to his home town next time, they could crash at his place, if they wanted. Nino had thanked the young man for the offer, but Sho wasn't too sure yet, if Nino would actually jump on it, or was just being polite. 

Either way, when Bukki had jumped on his train and the two men were going back home together, Nino didn't look so happy, and of course, Sho couldn't just leave it at that.

“Are you OK, Nino? Are you still upset about what happened at karaoke?” Sho asked, still feeling a bit guilty about it.

“No, it's nothing, don't worry, Sho,” Nino shook his head. “Well, at least it has nothing to do with that... It's just, my mom contacted me recently, I need to go visit my family next week. It's my grandfather's birthday, probably his last real big birthday party before stuff like that gets too exhausting for him. The whole family is invited and after the party, I'll stay with my parents for a few days, visit my sister and such. It's been a while since I went there.”

Sho frowned. “Will you be OK?”

Nino nodded awkwardly. “Yeah, sure, why?”

“I felt like you're feeling uncomfortable when talking about your family,” Sho replied. “And you hinted things before, so I just figured you don't really get along, am I right?”

“Well,” Nino shrugged as if that was enough to confirm his friend's statement. “We won't kill each other within such a short period,” he smiled at Sho, bitterly.

“Nino...”

Nino sighed while brushing his fingers through his hair. “I'm sorry. I'm not really looking forward to that visit and maybe that's why I was so irritated and easily upset about what happened at karaoke and stuff... but it will be fine, OK? Please don't worry.”

Sho nodded hesitantly, not knowing yet, that just a few days after Nino's departure to his family, there _would_ be a reason to worry about his friend, though. 

TBC


	4. Brave

One night, Sho's cell phone unexpectedly started to vibrate in the middle of the night. It was uncommon to happen, since usually, Sho muted his phone and deactivated all kind of notifications, except his alarm, so that his night sleep wasn't interrupted unnecessarily.

Despite his bottomless tiredness, though, Sho reached for his phone that was lying on the bedside table to check what was going on. He squinted when the brightness of the small screen – although he had turned it down – hit his eyes, and for a moment he thought he was reading wrong when he saw a YouTube subscription notification popping up. 

He indeed hadn't muted YouTube notifications as well, since he preferred to look everything up manually, no matter if he was looking for new uploads of his subscriptions (that's what the subscription box was for, after all) or if he wanted to check if he had received new comments, and so had actively deactivated all possible popups. The only channel he had actively switched on notifications for, was Nino's, because... well because it was Nino.

However, Nino's upload schedule usually didn't include random uploads in the middle of the night, and more than that, Nino wasn't even at home, as he was currently visiting his family, so no matter what it was, this was a strange move. Strange enough to check it out.

By now, Sho was sitting up in bed, the light on the bedside table turned on, and his headphones connected to his phone. He pushed them into his ears. The caption of Nino's sudden video was only showing him sitting in what looked like an empty room, a place that didn't look familiar to Sho. Had this video been recorded at the place of Nino's parents, perhaps? He wasn't looking that good, rather pale, Sho noticed, immediately starting to worry that something bad had happened at the Ninomiya family reunion.

The title of the video made Sho frown. Apparently, it was a video about a secret. 

Sho swallowed. What kind of secret could Nino mean?

After watching the video, Sho first didn't know what to think about it. His heart was pounding, his hands sweating and slightly shaking. He took a deep breath. He swallowed again. Then, he pushed aside the blanket and got out of bed.

It wasn’t even the first thought of him, how all of this might influence his personal situation here, even if that thought would definitely occur to him, soon enough, but more than anything, he was deeply worried about Nino right now. About his whereabouts, about his wellbeing, about his mental state. Sho didn’t even remember when his friend had planned to come back home, had it been the day after tomorrow? Or the coming weekend? Where was he _right now_?!

Barging out of his room, Sho immediately turned to Aiba and Jun’s room, and he couldn’t care less if the two of them were already sleeping at this time – or probably doing who-knows-what – he needed to talk to them, right now. To them and Ohno, to be exact, but since their room was closer, they were his first victims.

“Guys, wake up!” Sho exclaimed as he let the bedroom door fly open, not even bothering to knock, and switched on the lights.

“Are you out of your mind, Sakurai?!” Jun growled just a second later, sitting straight up in bed, his hair a curly mess, his face a grimace and his chest bare. “Do you have any idea how fucking late it is?!”

Oh oh, there he was, Angry-Jun, but that was definitely one of Sho’s least problems right now.

“Get up and gather downstairs!” he just said before he quickly turned around. “I’ll go get Ohno-kun.”

“Huh?” Aiba’s voice could be heard, coming from right beside Jun. “What’s going on? Did something happen? Is everyone alright?”

“I think Sakurai blew a fuse!”

“Calm down Jun-chan, it’s OK.”

“It’s fucking four o’clock, it’s everything but OK!”

Sho didn’t bother about the conversation next door when he tried to wake Ohno from his deep sleep.

“Ohno-san, wake up!” Sho repeated while shaking the older man’s body, first carefully and then with more intensity, when he didn’t wake up after the first few tries. “Ohno-san!”

“So,” Aiba appeared in the doorway, yawning, before he approached Sho and put a hand on his shoulder, worriedly looking at him. “What’s wrong, Sho, are you alright?”

“It’s Nino,” Sho just said, sounding more desperate than he expected, but at that moment, his heart clenched once more. He looked at Aiba, his eyebrows furrowed. “It’s about Nino, and it’s serious.”

Ohno only half-opened his eyes, but Sho and Aiba decided, that had to be sufficient to get enough of the man’s attention to drag him downstairs with them without getting hurt, and a few minutes later, they were all assembled in the living room, Ohno held up between Aiba and Sho, Jun with fuzzy-head propped on the couch, wearing one of Aiba’s t-shirts and his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“If this is not worth dragging me out of my sleep, I swear to god, Sakurai…,” the young man grumbled, and if Sho wouldn’t be so worried about Nino at this very moment, he’d probably had run away already to hide from the man’s bad temper.

“This is serious!” Sho repeated, what he had already hinted on in front of Aiba. “Guys, you need to see this…”

While Aiba helped a still sleepy Ohno to sit down on the couch and tried to soothe Jun’s anger, Sho snatched the remote control of the TV and turned on the YouTube app in the smart TV settings, quickly navigating to Nino’s main channel and selecting the latest upload, named “Sorry for keeping this a secret”. He then settled next to Ohno, clenching the remote and trying to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest, when the video started.

The video started with no intro whatsoever, it was simply Nino getting in focus in the middle of a pretty empty room. There was nothing personal about it, no indication of where exactly he was. It could have been a hotel bedroom if there wasn't at least a calendar hanging somewhere on the wall near the door. Nino was dressed in a simple black hoodie like he'd wear so often, and his hair was unmade. Not that he put too much attention to it, usually, but it had happened that he joined one of the other guys in front of the bathroom mirror and tagged along with hair styling, once in a while, especially when he wanted to film something or if they went out. But now he just looked like he came straight out of the shower and let his hair airdry.

“Is this his parents' house?” Sho whispered.

“Yes, it's his old bedroom,” Aiba nodded.

What an empty children's bedroom, Sho thought, remembering Nino only briefly mentioning about moving out from his family's house when he decided to become a YouTuber. He must have taken everything the had possessed, with him.

There was no background music, no gaming sounds, nothing, only Nino, looking around the room troubled, releasing a sign, and seemingly trying to find a beginning. He swallowed visibly before he finally directed his glance directly into the camera positioned in front of him.

 _“So... I'm trying to make this short and I hope you'll watch until the end of this video,”_ Nino finally started. Then, there was another pause, as if he tried to search for the right words to say next. This didn't seem to come easy to him, not at all.

 _“Honestly, I didn't really know how to do this... or if I even should make this video. But recent circumstances and changes in my private life have made me think – again,”_ the young man continued. _“You see, just yesterday I found out that my older sister is pregnant with her second baby. Onee-san, if you are watching this – I am really happy for you and your husband, congratulations!”_ Nino smiled, but for some reason, his smile didn't reach his eyes. _”I can't wait to meet my new niece or nephew in the future...,”_ he inhaled, _”That is if you guys will still allow me to after you saw this... Uhm... yeah. And then... there were also changes in my living accommodations, as you guys might or might not have picked up from the joined channel I'm having with my friends and roommates – shout out to you guys, if you watch this, I hope none of you has his notifications on, I know you need your beauty sleep J, and Sho, I hope you're not still up watching YouTube or so, man, you're overdoing it a little bit with your researches, sometimes!_ Nino was smiling again when he said all of that, and it was obvious, that he tried to sound light-hearted, but his voice was trembling. _”Ah... that's not what I wanted to say, not at all, I'm sorry for that.”_

“I indeed need my sleep...,” Jun murmured during Nino's next pause, glancing at Sho, but Aiba hushed his boyfriend to be quiet and keep listening.

_“Anyway, all these changes in my life made me think. My parents made me think. Again... like... you know when you enter your mid-twenties and your relatives start asking questions like “Do you ever plan to introduce your girlfriend to us, at all?” or “When will you finally give us a grandchild, son?” or in my particular case also “How long do you intend to share a house with four other guys instead of moving in with your girlfriend?” and such things? Usually, you might just roll your eyes and let them talk, or you shoot back, telling them that it's not their concern how you are leading your life. It all depends on your temper and your personal situation. It's not like they know every detail of your life. You choose what you want to tell them, or not, right? But then, at one point, you start to think about it, and you start feeling like you are not meeting their expectations, that you are disappointing them...”_

There was another pause during which Nino raised his hand and let it run over his face as if he tried to collect himself and all the feelings and thoughts that must be accumulating inside of him at that very moment. Nobody in the share house living room said anything. The silence of the video was like a quiet weight pushing down on everyone, Nino's worries representing those of a whole generation.

 _”You know, I think everyone has their own norms, their own expectations on themselves, and sometimes, they align with those that people around you have of you, and sometimes, they don't. And it should be fine either way. We're all individuals. But we're also part of a society, part of a family, part of groups. Sometimes, it's not as easy as just being the individual you are craving to be,”_ Nino said, his eyes slightly averting from the camera. 

_“Actually, I thought it wouldn't bother me that much. That I was that individual I wanted to be, that I was even proud of it, sometimes. All I wanted was just to be what I am and to do what I like, with my life, with my job... I didn't need to tell everybody everything about myself, I didn't care if everybody knew or what everybody would think about me. But with this kind of pressure around you, you really start to think, if your way is the right way to think. Should you just stay quiet and keep doing what you want and keep feeling what you want, even if just for yourself, or should you try to start explaining yourself? Maybe even try to change?”_

By now, Nino was looking back into the camera and his eyes were filled with so many emotions, that it was hard to pick up the most dominant one at that moment.

 _“To be honest, after my sister left our parents' place yesterday, my conversation with my parents turned into something like this and I started feeling really bad about it. Because, even if I never really lied about things, I also was not being honest, because I knew that what I think and what I want, differ so much from what my parents want for me. They haven't wanted me to pursue the career I do right now, and I know they are still critical about it, but they didn't cast me out because of my choice... and I was really grateful for that. I could keep on doing what I enjoyed. I still intend to and so I just wanted to keep on going like it was. But there is more, and I wasn't telling my parents everything. I wasn't even telling my friends everything. I don't know if that was the right thing to go with it, but it had been the way I decided to handle this... until now,”_ Nino breathed in deeply. _“But I finally came to the conclusion, that I don't want to hide anymore. I can't change who I am, I tried, but it can't be helped and I want to be honest, that's the last thing I can do. Maybe, this is a selfish thing to do, but I believe, that it is the right thing to do in my position. I am sick of hiding. I kept hiding this for all my life, ever since I found out about this because I was scared.”_

Sho swallowed, his heart pounding in his throat when he saw this pained expression in Nino's eyes again. The nervousness was written all over his face. The fear... something Sho knew just too well. In the past, he had experienced the same. Maybe not to such an extent as Nino did at the point of him making this video, Sho knew he was probably a bit tougher about such things than a sensitive soul like Nino was, but he could relate. He understood how hard it must have been for his friend to sit down and finally talk about all of this. After another small pause, the Nino in the video continued talking.

 _“I was scared of the reaction of my friends, of my sister, and most of all, I was scared of the reaction of my parents,”_ the young man in the video sighed. _“Mom and Dad, first of all, I am sorry, that I am such a coward that I can't tell you this face to face. You've raised me well, all of this is not your fault, you would have deserved me being honest to you way earlier. Please forgive me for choosing this, for me easier way, to tell you my secret. And please, if you can... please, don't be disappointed in me...”_

After nervously looking around for a few seconds, Nino pressed his lips together and then faced the camera again, straight on.

 _“Actually, yes, somehow, I still do have this tiny piece of hope that you won't be disappointed about this, but on the other hand, and seeing how you care about me and my possible future, I fear that my plans and your plans divide from each other way more than you can imagine, and I don't know how you will react to this... but please, listen to me until the end.”_ After addressing his parents, Nino switched back to addressing the whole audience of his video.

_“Everyone, I think, now, it's time to share what I really think and feel. I don't think that I was being too obvious about this whole situation... whatever exactly that means... anyway, this might probably be a surprise to most of you, guys, too, especially if you only know me via the internet... and maybe also those people I am close too might be surprised, as I never addressed this topic directly.”_

If Nino being utterly nervous hadn't been obvious until this point, now it was not possible to be missed anymore. Nino looked unease, pale, his voice was rasp and shaky, and he was babbling and tangling up in his words even more than before. But he kept talking. He knew that he had to push through now.

 _“I really don't know... Actually, I wished I would have been able to address this directly with you, I mean you, Mom and Dad, and my best friends, of course, but as I said... I'm a coward. This is hard enough for me already, to imagine I'd be sitting right in front of you right now... Yeah, I guess, that's it. I'm really a coward, I'm sorry about that. OK, wait, didn't I want to make this short? Haha... ah, I wonder if I ever talked that long in front of the camera when I wasn't talking about games or music or something like that...,”_ Nino cleared his throat. _“I am so sorry, I'm wandering from the subject again... So, I'm just going to say this now. First of all, Mom and Dad... I don't have a girlfriend. I am not planning to get married. I'll most likely not gonna have children, ever. I am sorry if this is a disappointment to you. I know you love kids – I do, too, to be honest – but, I don't think this path is for me... What I want to tell everyone now, is... that I am gay.”_

There was a pause, followed by Nino releasing a deep breath as if he had been holding it in for forever, his relief of finally having _said_ it so obvious as if a rock fell off his chest right now. But of course, he couldn't just leave it like that, and so, he kept talking.

 _“Uhm... I don't want to get into more details about since when I know and how I found out and stuff like that, I don't want to bore you, so I'm just gonna leave it at this message – I am gay. And if I'm lucky, my parents won't hate me completely now, my friends won't hate me now – I mean, I guess they won't, but they may be mad at me for keeping my secret for such a long time, I am sorry for that guys, I really am, to all of you, my family, friends, my subscribers. I am sorry for keeping this a secret for so long.”_

Nino bowed in front of the camera as if trying to give his apology even more weight, but if anyone asked Sho – or Nino's other friends present in the living room right now, there was no need for it. Sho smiled when he witnessed Aiba silently shaking his head and shedding a few tears while leaning against Jun's shoulder, whose tensed pose had loosened up by now. Ohno, despite still looking sleepy, also had a tender expression on his face. No, Sho thought, fondly, his heart beating fast, Nino had no reason to be sorry or to be scared of any of their reactions.

 _“So... it's out now,”_ Nino picked up again. _“I feel better now, I really do... I decide to go against the norm and make this public, because I can't keep pretending that I would ever be different from who I am. And I guess, if I am extraordinarily lucky, one day... well, I might not get married, or have kids – I mean, let's see how things will turn out in a few years with laws and stuff – but as for the current situation, if I'm lucky, I might find someone willing to share his life with me. Someone who'll make me happy, and who I can make happy, in return. I am kinda looking forward to that, to be honest, now that this is out... Sure, I don't know who that person will be, but I truly hope that we'll be able to make each other happy....”_

Sho sighed, trying to calm his heartbeat. If there was maybe just a tiny chance for _him_ and Nino becoming the ones that made each other happy? At least, now Sho had official proof, that him being a man wouldn't be a problem, however, if Nino would consider him as a possible partner, was a whole different story, after all.

Nino chuckled, a slight blush tinting his still pale face, and the tips of his ears that peaked out between his dark hair, red. He looked so damned cute, that Sho could barely hold it together.

_“Ah... don't I sound way too happy right now... but I guess I have to keep myself thinking positive about this. So, even if I don't know what will come next, how things will be after this video goes online, I hope for a good outcome.”_

This time, Nino's smile, even if it was a shy and small one, _did_ reach the man's eyes. It was sincere, showing, that no matter what, he was content with himself now. And at the end of everything, that was the most important, right? That one could accept themselves, be happy about it, proud about it.

_“One more thing I want to say is, that I get it if not everybody can understand my feelings, and if you don't want to follow me any longer now, that you found out about my secret, then that's fine, it's your decision. But I hope, all of you can respect and accept that this is a part of me that I cannot deny and that I don't wanna hide anymore. Thank you so much for watching until the end of this video, if you're still here with me, and... I'll see you in my next video, then. Bye!”_

Nino reached his hand towards the camera, switched it off, and that was it. The end of the video.

When the TV went completely quiet again, the living room stayed the same. At first, nobody dared to speak, and even if Sho was burning to talk about all this, he didn't know how, and he didn't know if he even had the right to say anything about this. What exactly would he even want to say? The only thing he really wanted right now, was to be with Nino, embrace him, and tell him that he had done a great job and that everything would be fine. That with him and the guys, at least, everything would be fine, and that he didn't need to worry. But Nino wasn't there. He must still be with his parents. Alone, in the dark of the middle of the night, worrying about how everyone would react to his statement. Because even if he seemed to have reached a point at which he was able to accept himself and to stay true to himself, of course, he would still be worried about the perception of his surrounding, right? It was just a natural thing.

Sho remembered his own coming out, back home, to his parents, and his closest friends. He didn't do it to be recognized for what he was, he just did it so his closest circle knew, and he was glad that he did it early on. Maybe, like that, it had been easier for everyone to accept. But afterwards, Sho hadn't worn any label to the outside world. To the public, he was still in the closet, so to say. Just like Jun and Aiba. Not out of fear, most likely, but because in some cases, it was just less troublesome, more convenient. Even if he didn't think that there was anything to judge, people did judge. And so far, he had not wanted to deal with that if not necessarily needed. 

Like this, he had ended up not even telling Nino, although the young man had become one of his closest confidants over the past years. Maybe, if Sho had been honest with Nino, maybe Nino had been a little more at ease? At least, he could have talked to him about everything, instead of bottling it up until he couldn't hold it in any longer and decided to just blow it and announce everything online. Not, that this was a bad thing, it was just a bit more extreme than Sho would have expected from the other man. But despite everything, right now, Sho was just super proud of his friend. And now, he wanted to tell him too. Not because he was hoping for anything, but because he wanted Nino to know that he understood very well.

“So... it's out now,” Jun eventually spoke up. He looked at Sho, but despite his next words, he didn't look really pissed anymore. “Couldn't you have waited to show me until tomorrow morning?”

Sho chuckled, frowning, not knowing what to reply. Maybe, Jun was even trying to joke, Sho wasn't so sure about it. Matsumoto Jun and his humour were an enigma on their own.

“Now stop acting indifferent,” Aiba said, giving his boyfriend's shoulder a playful punch, smiling at him. “Just say it, I know you're just as proud of Nino right now, as I am, right?”

“Well... that coward finally made a big step,” Jun raised his eyebrows, “I guess I can't be not proud of him, can I?”

“I knew you'd think so!” Aiba laughed. “Sorry Sho, Jun is just _really_ bad if someone wakes him up.”

“Ah yes, I really know that by now,” Sho answered, joining the laughter. “Sorry about that.”

“But you were right, waking us,” Ohno said. “This is serious and important. It's good we saw it now. Now we can be prepared for Nino.”

Sho nodded before he paused. “Does anyone know when exactly Nino will come back? Aiba-kun?”

Aiba shook his head when Sho turned towards him. “No, he didn't say when he'd be back, he just said, he'd be gone for a visit for a few days.”

“That's also what he told me,” Sho said, frowning. “But... to be honest, I'm worried... if his parents see this video... I don't know how up to date they are with watching his stuff, but perhaps, at least his sister might catch it soon, right? What if they don't take it well and something happens to him?!”

Jun raised an eyebrow. “You mean they'll kick him out?”

“I don't think they'll act _that_ extreme...,” Aiba intervened, but the worry in his face showed clearly, that he wasn't completely unconcerned either. In the end, they could just hope that everything would turn out well for Nino.

“Uhm... by the way, did you all... know?” Sho eventually asked what was burning on his tongue.

“Know what? That he's gay?” Jun, again, arched his eyebrow. “Well... He never openly admitted it, not even to Aiba, so, _officially_ we didn't, but I dare say it's not really a surprise. Satoshi, did he ever tell you?”

Ohno shook his head in response. He also didn't really look surprised, though.

Aiba sighed. “He didn't say it, but he also didn't completely hide it. I guess, it's because he trusted us, that he let his guard down, sometimes. It wasn't a too well-kept secret if he found some hot guy on TV sexy, or if he had a crush on someone, but we didn't dig deeper.”

“And I thought he was just open-minded...,” Sho frowned. Well, remembering how shocked he had been when watching Nino's video for the first time, he really had not expected this. “So I'm the only one who didn't realize...”

“Well, that's because you're wearing tomatoes for eyes, Sakurai!” Jun said, groaning in frustration.

Sho shot him a look. “Hey! I don't -”

“Stop it, guys!” Aiba immediately jumped between them. “But Sho, look, Jun is right. You were probably so busy thinking you're not worthy of his attention, that you didn't even consider he could be gay.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

“He's talking about your not-so-secret crush on Nino, Sho-kun,” Ohno summarized.

Sho blushed helplessly. “What?! But I -”

“Don't deny it, Sho-chan,” Aiba finally jumped in, putting his hand on top of Sho's shoulder. “It's OK. We know about it and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Why do you even keep it a secret?”

“You know? All of you?” Sho couldn't stop blushing, he felt so embarrassed. His heart stopped beating for a moment. “Wait, even Nino?”

“I'm not sure if he's not a case of tomato eyes, too, actually,” Jun offered, rolling his eyes.

Sho hid his face in his hands.

“We didn't say anything to him,” Aiba assured his friend, placing his hand on his shoulder. He smiled, encouragingly. “I think you should tell him yourself.”

“A-Anyway,” Sho tried to change the subject again. “What are we gonna do now?”

“What do you mean?” Jun asked.

“I mean about Nino? Shouldn't we call him, check if he's alright? Ask when he'll be back?”

“Maybe, you'll just text him and tell him that we're waiting? I don't know if he really wants to talk right now,” Aiba suggested.

“What if he needs someone to talk to?”

“Then offer it and see what he replies.”

Ohno spoke up next. “Guys... I heard something.”

Sho had missed the clicking noises from the front door's lock, but when Ohno called for his attention, he was able to hear someone in the entrance area, getting rid of their shoes and placing their key on the shoe cabinet. Someone just had entered the apartment. Sho's heart skipped a beat.

It could only be one person.

\+ + +

His black hood pulled over his hair, as deep into his face as possible, Nino slouched through the streets of Tokyo. The night felt colder than expected, however, the young man didn't know if he wanted to speed up his steps or not. He was dragging it. The wind blew into his face, and Nino squeezed his eyes while he pulled his shoulders up to accumulate some warmth. He was wearing a navy jacket, grey jeans and the most normal pair of trousers he possessed, and he was carrying a black duffle bag over one shoulder. Most of the stuff in there was still unused as he had shortened his planned stay at his family's house due to unexpected circumstance.

His parents didn't know about that yet, but Nino had sneaked out of their house right after he had recorded and quickly edited a certain video, only leaving a letter behind with a quick explanation of what they should watch once they found the note. So, before he would have the urge to retract, he had decided to go out, travel back to Tokyo, find a place with free Wi-Fi and upload that damned video as soon as he could, before coming back home into the share house late enough so that everyone would be sleeping and not notice his return. He could probably stay and hide at his room for a couple of days, even, if necessary, if he wanted to avoid them, if they didn't know yet, that he was back... but then, why would he do that? No, that was a stupid idea. Nino just wanted to catch a good night of sleep before facing them, that was everything.

Nino eventually ended up at a 24 h open Starbucks nearby the train station, where he sat down in a back corner, slurping a passion fruit iced tea and chewing on a way too expensive but good hot ham and cheese sandwich for the small hunger. His laptop was ready, sitting on the table, Wi-Fi was working, and he was logged into his YouTube account, his cursor hovering over the “upload” button. His video had turned out longer than expected, and he didn't really cut it because what would be the meaning of it, if he just wanted _everything_ out in the world, finally? Still, doubts were creeping up inside of him again.

He'd never told anyone about this before. This might be a shock for most people, wouldn't it? Or would people say “Oh, I already thought you'd be like _that_ ”? And would that make it better or worse? No matter what, Nino was far more nervous than he thought he would be. After getting everything off his chest and finishing the video, he had thought, it was done. That feeling right before he started filming, must have been the worst of all. But no, _this_ was it. This moment, when he still had the choice to step back, take everything back that he had said, file his video on a secret folder of one of his HDs among other failed video projects, and nobody would ever have to see it.

But he wanted people to see it.

He wanted his family to see it so that they would finally stop asking him questions and pressuring him about the choices for his future. He wanted his friends and his viewers to see it so that he didn't need to hide who he truly was from them any longer. From nobody. And he wanted Sho to see it... because everything that would or would not happen between them, afterwards, would make far more sense and be far less awkward. Or so, Nino hoped.

His heart was racing by this point. When he thought, he might pass out, he downed a few big sips of his iced tea and gulped down a piece of his sandwich. The distraction helped, although the taste didn't reach him. He tried to calm himself down with some breathing exercises that Jun had once shown him. Not, that those were working that well on Jun himself when it came to anger management, but maybe, the other man was just doing it wrong. Nino chuckled to himself. What would the others say if they watched his video and found out? Would they be indifferent about it? Would they be surprised? Would they be mad at him for staying silent for so long? He didn't know, but he would find out once he'd finally find the strength to klick that freaking upload button, so, Nino took another deep breath and just did it. He kicked the button, and the video started uploading.

For the angsty timespan of about a minute, while watching the upload bar slowly filling up, Nino considered cancelling the upload. His hand was slightly shaking, so he pulled it back from his laptop keyboard and folded his hands in his lap, in order not to do anything he might regret later on. He thought again about the conversation with his parents, thought about Sho.

The doorbell of Starbucks rang when a couple entered.

“It's cold outside, isn't it?” the guy asked his girlfriend, squeezing her hand.

“Yeah, let's pick some hot drinks to warm up again,” the girl replied, beaming at her partner.

Then, the young man offered to take her scarf that she was untangling from around her neck, and while he took it with one hand, he lifted his other to push a strand of her long brown curly hair back in place. The girl smiled at him, her cheeks slightly red, and thanked him, before they stepped in front of the counter and placed their order.

Nino bit his lip. He wanted that too. He wanted to be with Sho, hold his hand, walk with him into a Starbucks, or any shop they wanted, and get some nice drinks, be out on a date. Not like they had been before – just as friends – but he wanted to go on _real_ dates with him, like a _real_ couple. Sure, he didn't know, if Sho even would want the same thing, however, he would only be able to find out when he started being honest to himself and to Sho. A confession and an invitation on a _real date_ would only make sense if Sho knew why Nino would ask him. So that he wouldn't misunderstand it. So that there was no doubt about Nino's intentions.

Yes, Nino wanted this. It was everything he could do right now, it was _his way_ of doing this. And he'd see how it would work out. Maybe, it would just be fine. Yeah, that would be nice.

And so, he let the video finish being uploaded while finishing his iced tea and his sandwich, which both tasted so much better now, and once he was done, he closed his laptop, slid it back into his bag, and stood up, ready to get home, sleep the night away and face the upcoming challenges on a new day.

Nino had not expected to come home to a brightly lit living room, though, he had to admit when he reached the share house, the light shining through the window, lighting up the small garden.

Damned, why was there still someone up? It was way too late, shouldn't all of his housemates be in bed by now? And who had thought it would be a good idea to place the staircase leading to the upper floor right in the middle of this whole thing? He could impossibly just sneak up there, unnoticed, if someone was still up.

Nino swallowed. Should he risk it? Maybe, whoever was still away was only watching TV and had not taken notice of Nino's upload yet. Or should he play save and just stay away from the share house for the night? No, Nino thought, he wouldn't run away anymore. Instead, whoever of his friends it was that he would find in the living room, he should greet him properly, and tell him everything in person, before he would direct him to watch the video for details. It was time, to be honest. But then, there was a surprise for Nino. 

“Guys... what are you _all_ still doing up?” the young man asked in a low voice when he had approached the living room and spotted all four of his other housemates spread there, staring at him.

“Nino!” Aiba and Sho yelled in unison, both jumping a little forward to meet their friend halfway.

“Are you alright?!” Jun added, suddenly looking just as worried as the rest of them.

Nino tilted his head. His heart was pounding like crazy by now. “Let me guess, you already watched my video...”

“I-I had notifications on and then...,” Sho admitted, averting his eyes.

Nino felt a slight pierce through his heart, although he told himself he shouldn't interpret Sho's reaction as something negative right away. He chuckled, even if it sounded weird.

“You know,” he said, sighing. “Actually, I had hoped if I get home in the middle of the night, I could just go to bed and this wouldn't be so awkward now.”

“You mean awkward at breakfast is better?” Jun asked, crossing his arms.

“Very nice, J,” Nino countered. “No, I meant I had hoped to be able to sleep a few hours before I talk to all of you about this.”

“You're not scared of us, Nino, are you?” Aiba asked, his eyes filled with worry. “You know we love you no matter what, right?”

“It's true,” Ohno said, finally joining the conversation, too. “It changes nothing.”

“Nothing at all,” Jun added. “Right, Sho?”

Sho's cheeks were flushed red. Finally, he lifted his head and looked Nino straight into the eye. His look was gentle and he was smiling, and Nino could feel the cold surrounding him and his heart melt away when Sho finally said, “No, it changes nothing at all.”

It was Nino now, who averted his look, not because he was ashamed or anything, but because he feared, if he didn't, he'd jump right into Sho's arms, and he wasn't sure if his heart would be able to handle that right now.

“I... thank you, guys,” Nino simply said, instead, looking from Sho to Aiba, to Jun, to Ohno. He tried to smile. “It means a lot to hear that. I'm happy...”

“You don't look happy, though,” Jun dared to speak up and voice what Sho, and probably also the others, must be thinking as well, judging from their worried looks.

“Nino, is everything OK? Is it... because of your parents, perhaps?” Sho finally asked, carefully.

Nino looked at Sho again and took a deep breath, holding it in. He could already feel the tears in his eyes accumulating, and he knew, it would be only a matter of time until he would start crying.

“I'm... I'm scared, Sho-chan,” Nino whispered after a few seconds of trying to collect himself, but failing, nonetheless. “I'm so scared of how they will react... I'm even considering to take the video down again, but I don't think it's of any help. I left a note at home and if they don't find a video uploaded, as I announced, they'd just be confused and ask questions... and, what's on the net is on the net, even if I delete it, you're surely not the only ones who saw it already. My sister also watches all of my videos – or most of them – or maybe someone already made a copy of it and would reupload it nevertheless... what's done, is done.”

“And that's OK, Nino!” Aiba jumped in, but it was Sho's action that moved him the most.

Without saying another word, Sho slowly stepped forward, facing Nino straight on, his gaze unwavering, his posture protective. Nino didn't really know what the other man was planning to do, so he just stood there, like frozen, until Sho was standing right in front of him, and he could feel the warmth from the other man's body. Then, Sho spread his arms, and just a second later, he was embracing Nino, tenderly, but with a strength that spoke from determination and support, that promised to be his pillar, if Nino needed one.

And so, everything that Nino had bottled up to now, broke free, all at once. Unresistingly, Nino gave in to his instincts, wrapping his arms around the man embracing him, and almost collapsed against Sho's chest, allowing him to hold him when Nino's tears finally fell down from his cheeks.

“I-I just really don't know if I really did the right thing,” Nino started sobbing uncontrollably. “I don't want them... to hate me...”

“They won't hate you, Nino,” Sho's soft voice reached Nino's ears.

“You don't know that,” Nino whispered.

He could feel one of Sho's hands sliding up his back and finding its way into Nino's hair, gently brushing through it and pressing him even closer into the hug.

“I'll make sure of it,” Sho said in a low but steady voice, that unintentionally sent a pleasant shiver up Nino's spine, and the man could swear, he would believe anything Sho would say like that right now. “If they need explanations, we'll give it to them as much as they want, and they will realize, that no matter what, you're still their son. And if they really can't accept you the way you are, you still have us, OK? We'll always be there for you. We'll always accept you the way you are.”

“Sho...,” Nino's voice broke and his fingers dug into Sho's clothes as he clung to him even more desperately, releasing another wave of tears.

Right at that moment, Sho's words meant everything to Nino. Sho's embrace meant everything to him. He was ridden by feelings of despair, and fear, but Sho was there, relatable and strong and gentle, and all the things Nino needed him to be. And undoubtedly, this moment made Nino fall even deeper in love with his friend.

“Nino-chan, we'll always be there for you!” Aiba couldn't hold himself back any longer, storming towards his friend and hugging him from behind.

Sho chuckled softly, Jun sighed but smiled, and then, Ohno pulled the man with him to join the embrace, creating a huge bunch of cuddled with Nino in the middle.

“Guys, I can't breathe,” Nino whined, half crying, half laughing, when they started swaying and pushing their weight onto them, but he could feel the love his friends were giving him right now, and he had never been more grateful to be with all of them.

“One thing,” Jun said, once they had ended their cuddling session and sat down on the couch in the living room. Aiba had quickly brewed some tea, distributing it among everyone right now. “You really should have told us beforehand.”

“I'm sorry, I know there is no reason for me not to trust you all, and that's certainly not what was going on... I _do_ trust you guys, it's just... It was like I never found the right timing to tell you all,” Nino said, warming his cold hands with the mug of steaming tea that Aiba had just handed him. Then, Nino froze. “Oh or you mean because of our joint channel? I'm sorry if I cause you guys any inconvenience with my video... I...”

“No,” Sho, who was sitting right next to Nino said, gently shaking his head and putting one of his hands on top of Nino's thigh, making him blush slightly. “I don't think that will be a problem and I think what Jun-kun means is, if you had told us, we could have helped you. We'll still help you, of course, as much as we can, if needed.”

Jun nodded, also smiling warmly at Nino. By now, his grumpiness had subsided almost completely.

“You're always being honest with everyone, and you're encouraging and supporting. And now that you are finally being honest to yourself, we want you to know that we are also here to support you,” Sho said, determined.

“One for all and all for you!” Aiba chimed, raising his fist into the air. A half-hearted smack on the back of his head by Jun and a laughing fit of Ohno followed.

Nino smiled. “Thank you. To all of you.”

The group of friends continued enjoying their tea, and chatted for a bit longer, not caring about the time passing. They'd all be wasted tomorrow morning anyway from the lack of sleep, but it just felt right to stick together for a little longer. Eventually, they ended up having a huge sleepover in the living room. There wasn't enough space on the couch for all five of them, so Jun and Aiba got a spare futon to cuddle up on the floor, and Nino found himself wrapped in Sho's arms, finally allowing himself to be near him and enjoy it, while Ohno snuggling up from behind. Nino didn't mind it. He was too happy, his inside feeling all warm and bubbly.

He wasn't alone. Here, he was welcomed and accepted, and he was convinced, that he was the luckiest man in the world when it came to friendships. No matter how people would react to his video, even if his family wouldn't take it well, he would still have these four guys by his side, and they'd give him the strength and courage to overcome any hardship that he might have to face.

\+ + +

Nino's coming out had come more or less out of nowhere for most of his viewers, apparently, and not only his own channel, but also the group's joint channel was being bombarded with comments and questions regarding Nino, his sexuality, how long he had known about it, and his reasoning behind coming out - just to name a few of them.

In retrospect, Nino thought that it might indeed have been smarter to talk to his friends first, maybe set up a better plan, a better-structured video, and he really felt guilty towards Jun who had now to deal with all the various reactions by their viewers on their joint channel, as he was the main maintainer of it. But it was what it was, now, and Nino couldn't undo it.

Jun didn't even complain – at least not too much – and instead, he even must have refrained from telling Nino about all the comments they got, because he only mentioned positive ones and that there were viewers who were concerned about Nino's wellbeing and things like that. Nino was sure, that there were also negative comments, hate comments, even, but he didn't check and was just grateful to Jun for protecting him from them. He received a few such negative comments on his own channels, even if the majority of his viewers seemed to stand behind him, and it was enough for him to handle. Not, that Nino hadn't expected negative reactions, but some of those comments still hurt. 

At one point, Jun had mentioned the idea of making a mukbang video with all five of them, soon, addressing some of the questions they received regarding Nino's coming out. It would probably clear some things, and Nino had promised to think about it. 

He also couldn't be more thankful to his other friends. Aiba was even more supportive than usual, Ohno was exactly the same as usual – which was just as meaningful for Nino and he might actually prefer it over Aiba's over caring – and Sho... well, Sho was a little strange about the situation, but not in an uncomfortable way. He was being supportive as well, he was being cute, like always, but it seemed, he had started to be a little shy and flustered whenever he was near Nino. As if he was viewing Nino with different eyes now. Not with eyes filled with disgust or any similar negative emotion, rather with eyes filled with kindness, and maybe... something like curiosity?

Maybe, Nino was imagining things, but one thought didn't leave his mind. That maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that Sho could be interested in him, and was being more cautious now, that he was out of the closet. Maybe, he considered Nino as a potential partner. Maybe, he just didn't want to say anything because he feared that their friendship could change, that it would be risky to start something with a long-year friend slash housemate. At least, those had been thoughts that had occurred to Nino ever since he had accepted his crush on Sho. Sure, there were insecurities, sure, there was no guarantee that his feelings would be answered, nor was there security for a potential relationship to go well, all of this was written in the stars. But if one didn't try, one wouldn't know, right?

The thought alone that Sho might at least _consider_ him, got Nino excited and the longer he thought about it, the more he wanted to tell Sho about his feelings. And thus, by now – about a week after his coming out and with the situation having calmed down a bit – Nino was literally setting up a plan for a proper confession.

Well, maybe there was one thing he should take care about first, though, Nino thought as he checked his phone once again, opening the LINE chat with his mother. Her last message was already about a week old, it was still from the time before he uploaded that video. Nino's last message was from the day after his coming out, a simple _“I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, please also tell Dad”_. The “read” besides the message indicated that his message had been read, however, there had been no response so far. Nino hadn't said anything further, and he didn't know if he should wait until his mother reached out to him, or if he should simply accept that he might have ruined everything between him and his parents now. He sighed, putting it down again.

“Nino, your coffee is getting cold,” a gentle voice suddenly broke Nino free from his thoughts. When he looked up, it was Sho, who was sitting right next to him in his usual chair at the breakfast table, skimming a newspaper and sipping on his own coffee, his eyes gentle, but a little worried.

“Ah, thanks, Sho-chan,” the other man reacted with a smile and finally took a sip from his coffee, which was even made by Sho. That man might not be able to cook breakfast for his life, but he was a master of coffee, that was for sure!

It was just the two of them in the kitchen for a while now, with Aiba gone off to work, Jun upstairs, working on some videos, and Ohno probably snoring in the garage in front of his newest painting project. While Sho had been busy with the newspaper, Nino had been sunken in his thoughts.

“Is everything OK?” Sho asked, putting down his newspaper, before he added carefully, “Any reaction from your parents yet?”

Nino slightly shook his head. “No, nothing.”

In fact, Nino's sister had been the only one reacting at all, and that short telephone call during which she had told him that she still loved him, but that she was mad at him for not facing her and their parents directly. According to his sister's information, Nino's parents didn't want to talk to him at the moment. They _needed time_ , his sister had said. After that conversation, the two siblings had slipped back into their usual habit of only exchanging messages once in a while. Ever since Nino's sister got married, she'd been busy with taking care of her own family, and she and Nino weren't particularly close. At least, though, she didn't resend him. That was probably more he could have hoped for.

Nino didn't know if his parents were being mad at him for the same reason that his sister mentioned – him not telling them directly –, or if they didn't want to have to do anything at all with him, anymore. He had crushed all their dreams and hopes they had had for him, after all. Maybe, he couldn't expect anything else. Actually, Nino wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. He had been scared about it, hell yes, so scared, but in the end, their lack of reaction was probably better than a full-on conflict. He didn't want to fight with his parents. There had been enough fights in the past.

“If they really have enough of me now, there's probably nothing I can do,” Nino sighed, reaching one hand to rub his eyes. He wasn't crying, he was just tired from all the thinking.

“It's their loss if they don't want to be in contact with you anymore, Nino,” Sho said, his voice a mixture of tenderness towards his friend, and strictness towards Nino's parents. “You're an amazing person, you know that, right? If your parents can't see that now, I'm sure they will learn it. You'll show them! And for now, we're here for you. I... am here for you.”

By now, Sho's hand was lying on top of Nino's free hand, squeezing it slightly, as to offer comfort, and Nino couldn't help but feel his heartbeat increasing a little bit. He didn't know if Sho meant this in any other way than _as a friend_ , but he was grateful for those heart-warming words, grateful for Sho's hand warming his, grateful for him.

Nino hoped, he wasn't blushing too badly right now. He stiffened slightly, not, because he didn't like the sensation – the contrary thereof – but because his thoughts started circling again, returning to his planned confession, returning to his doubts connected with it. What if he just... maybe, should he just take the risk and tell Sho about his feelings? Even if Sho wouldn't reciprocate them, he was such a nice guy, that they still should be able to be friends and live together in a share house, even after a confession, right? Worst case scenario right now was, that nothing would change from the way it had been up to now, and it could definitely be worse than that. At least, that was what Nino hoped.

“Uhm, I'm sorry,” the other man said as if he was sensing Nino's sudden stiffness.

Nino's heart constricted, and his head shot up and to the side, looking a slightly confused Sho straight into the eye.

“No! No, please don't be...,” Nino replied in a low voice, almost a whisper.

He blushed, averting his eyes again, and before Sho could pull back his hand, Nino slightly clenched to it, not letting it go. Sho stopped and allowed Nino's fingers to brush over his warm skin. Instead of pulling back, Sho moved together with Nino, until they had slowly intertwined their fingers until their hands were connected firmly.

“I like that,” Nino said, his eyes still fixated on Sho. They looked at each other, unwavering but somewhat shy at the same time, and Nino's heart was beating like crazy by now.

Maybe, it was now or never. Screw possible consequences, screw all the insecurities, screw the unknown future. Taking risks had not turned out so badly, recently, so why not take another risk? He took a deep breath.

“Actually...,” Nino continued. “I like _you_.”

\+ + +

Sho stiffened when he heard Nino's words. He _liked_ him? Well... they were friends after all, right? Of course, they liked each other. Or could it be that Nino meant something different?

“I like you too, Nino?” Sho eventually returned. He must sound just as confused as he felt right now, because Nino chuckled, a frown on his face.

“No, wait. You know what that means, don't you?”

Sho swallowed. He hoped his idea was the right one, but he wasn't ready to embarrass himself. “Do I?”

“If you don't...,” Nino whispered, averting his eyes for a moment. His cheeks were bright red, and he looked so damned adorable right now, that Sho had a hard time to hold back. Then, Nino looked at him again. “Maybe I should _show_ you...”

Not letting go of Sho's hand, Nino leaned closer, his face showing a mixture of determination and insecurity, but there was no hesitation in his move, as he slightly tilted his head while closing his eyes and slowly pushed up his chin until his lips met Sho's. He didn't push too far, didn't pressure anything, but he let his lips linger on the other man's for a bit longer, the touch electrifying Sho, until his stiffness subsided completely. Sho's lips almost melted against Nino's, when he carefully started to move them. They shared a breath and when Sho's free hand reached up into Nino's neck, Nino mewled silently, his body trembling slightly. He clenched Sho's hand firmer, and let himself be pulled closer, and the two men melted into one through their tender kiss.

“You get it now?” Nino whispered, still blushing red.

“Hmmm,” Sho hummed, enjoying the flustered reaction of the other man. “I can imagine what this is about... but maybe you should tell me, anyway, just to make sure.”

“You are such a meanie, Sakurai Sho,” Nino chuckled, playfully hitting him with his free hand, as their joined hands were still firmly connected. “Now listen closely, because I won't spell it out for you too often, this is embarrassing...,” the young man blushed even more. “Sho, I'm in love with you and I want to be with you. What do you think?”

“What... what I _think_ about it?!” Sho repeated, laughing. “I... I don't know what to say, honestly... this doesn't feel real... Nino, tell me this is real? Are you really asking me to be your boyfriend?”

“I am,” Nino nodded.

“Then, who am I to deny you?” Sho replied. “Seriously, if you really want to, I'd be delighted to be... _more_ for you. You have no idea, how happy this makes me right now, you have no idea for how long I...”

“For how long you what?”

And suddenly, Sho couldn't hold back any longer. His heart felt like it was bubbling over from love right now, and he just had to tell Nino everything he had ever wanted to tell him.

“For how long I'm already in love with you. I mean it!” Sho said, clenching Nino's hand. “You have no idea how much I am looking up to you ever since I found your channel on YouTube, how much you inspired me. I wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am today, without you. Maybe, you thought I approached you online because you were popular, but I did so because I felt like we connect in some weird way. And I was so happy to find out we did when you answered my e-mail back then and we got to talk more and more. I was so happy we could be friends, but I started to fall for you real quick, and I doubted so much that I could ever have a chance with you…”

“Sho...,” Nino whispered. He smiled gently. “I also think we clicked immediately. It felt like a miracle to get to know someone over the internet who shared so many of my thoughts and feelings, and ever since I enjoy talking to you so much. I always thought it's such a pity we lived so far away from each other.”

“Me too!” Sho exclaimed, excited over hearing Nino's confession. Again, it was like they shared the exact same feelings. “Thank you, Nino. I am so glad to have met you. And I am so happy you invited me here, you have no idea, really. I want you to know that I am just so happy and grateful to have you in my life.”

“Enough of this sappy shit now, Sho,” Nino giggled, but despite the harsh choice of words, his expression was everything but sharp. His eyes were filled with affection, his cheeks tinted in red, and his lips were curled up into that most adorable smile Sho had fallen for already such a long time ago.

“Sorry,” Sho asked, chuckling, slightly irritated. “I'm really embarrassing right now, aren't I?”

“You are,” Nino said, clearing his throat before he leaned a bit closer to Sho, lowering his voice. “So, _please_ shut up and finally kiss me again...”

And Sho did, and Nino kissed back, and so they spent nobody knew how much time, shifting positions to be more comfortable while kissing, up to the point at which Nino climbed on top of Sho's lap to have better access to his freshly baked boyfriend's mouth. While their kissing became more intimate and more intense, they completely forgot the world around them, not even taking proper notice of Ohno, who entered the kitchen at some point, simply voicing a slightly surprised “Oh!” before getting something from the fridge and leaving the two love birds all to themselves again. For hours, they just kept enjoying the closeness of their bodies, their lips pressed together, their hands wrapped around their bodies, caressing each other. After all, finally, after such a long time, their hearts were officially one.

They didn't know what the future would hold, and if they'd be the right ones for each other, but Sho knew, that just now, one of his biggest dreams had come true and he would be a fool to let it go off in thin air. So, he decided, that he would do everything in his power, to hold onto this reality and make it the best it could be, for him, for Nino, for _them_. He'd give everything needed, to make the two of them as happy as even possible.

TBC


	5. Subarashiki Sekai

In the end, Nino agreed on Jun's idea to film a mukbang with a Q&A regarding his coming out and so, one evening, the whole share house gang found themselves in the living room, sitting around the coffee table, waiting to start filming.

While Sho played with the camera settings and tried to find the correct angle to get all five of them into the frame, Jun sorted through what were the most interesting questions according to his opinion. Aiba helped him look over the questions, kicking one or two of the shortlist that he thought were too personal or even inappropriate. Jun agreed that he had only kept them on the list because he was curious and that they could edit them out afterwards, but Aiba scolded him and begged him to be more considerate about Nino's feelings. 

Ohno and Nino were hovering over a delivery menu from a nearby ramen shop, debating over what they should order to eat. Gyoza as appetizers, for sure, they were both agreeing on that, but then they started a discussion over what was to favour as the brew for the ramen dish – shoyu ramen, miso ramen or shio ramen. Sho hadn't known so far, but apparently, both men had very strong and very diverting opinions on ramen. 

Before they started recording, Nino insisted on telling his friends once more that he was really sorry that he had been hiding such a big thing from them for so long. He had not hidden it because he didn't trust his friends to accept him, regardless of his sexual orientation, but it had just been so much easier not to talk about the issue altogether. Especially, because he had not really felt the urge of dating someone for so long... well until he realized his growing feelings for Sho, that was.

After the opening greetings and a short summary about what had happened and what had led them here – just in case someone didn't know yet or never watched Nino's channel – Jun quickly proceeded to start reading the questions directed at Nino.

“First question to our dear Nino here – Hi Nino, how are you? I hope you're doing fine. How do you feel after your coming out?”

Nino smiled at that first question. “Well, thank you very much for your concern, I'm doing great, actually. And how do I feel after coming out... relieved, of all things, and happy with myself.”

“That's great, right, Nino?” Aiba chimed in and his best friend nodded.

“Next question, how did your family, friends and people at your workplace react when they found out?”

“I have to admit, when it comes to working, I guess I'm really lucky that my co-workers at the music shop didn’t mind. Maybe people in the music industry are a bit more aware of LGBTQ+, I really don't know, but nobody said a bad word to me. Recently, my boss even told me that he likes me being present at the shop because it made word that I work there and it draws a new audience to the shop. People are coming over to look for my advice, which is really cool, but of course, I have to make them buy something from the store or they would become a bit troublesome, just coming there to talk to me... so, please, if you drop by our store, consider buying a new album of an artist you like, or even try something new. I can surely give you advice on what music to try, based on your likings, at well.”

“Of course, you made it into a business,” Jun noted.

“Well, I _do_ work there, after all,” Nino replied, chuckling. “When it comes to my family, let's say I got mixed reviews... my sister said she doesn't mind and that she'd continue to support me anyway, but for my parents, it was a shock. I guess, they still need a bit of time to wrap their heads around everything. I'm sorry I surprised them so much with my video instead of talking things out with them beforehand.”

“I'm sure they'll come around and get back to you, Nino!” Aiba said with an uplifting smile on his face.

Sho, who was sitting right next to Nino, reached his hand under the coffee table, to gently take Nino's hand in his. They intertwined their fingers and Nino gratefully looked from Sho to Aiba and back to Sho.

“Thank you. Well, I certainly cannot complain, when it comes to my friends,” the young man continued, his face lighting up with a smile. “My friends were the absolute best. They had watched my video just shortly after I uploaded it, even before I came home – I uploaded it somewhere else – and they told me that no matter what, they'd be my friends and then they almost killed me with a super heavy group hug.”

“You loved the group hug!” Jun laughed.

“Yeah, I did,” Nino admitted, chuckling.

“Kind of connected to the previous question – Do you think it's easier to come out as gay in other countries than Japan? I think this is a reference to other YouTubers coming out... like, do you remember that big wave some years ago? I think, most of them had been from western countries, though.”

“That is probably true... here in Japan we tend to keep personal information private, anyway, also on YouTube, most people don't share all aspects of their life, maybe don't even feel the need to, or are scared, because it's still stigmatized to be openly gay, for most of society. However, I don't think that coming out is ever being easy, no matter in which country you live. What makes it easy or difficult, are solely your personal circumstances. It's up to you!”

“That's for sure, I agree with that,” Jun nodded. “Alright, then here we have two question from another viewer – First, when and how did you find out that you are gay? And second, when did you kiss a boy for the first time? And connected to that we have another viewer's question – Did you ever kiss a girl?”

“First of all, yes, I did kiss girls when I was younger. I mean, everyone did and it was supposed to be “normal” so yeah, I ended up kissing girls. However, even back then I felt that it just wasn't for me. I just didn't know, why. I thought, maybe, I'm not old enough for this, or maybe I did it wrong or maybe it was just not the right girl for me. But I quickly learned, that I never looked at girls the same way as my friends and classmates did. I never developed a crush on any of the girls, no matter how cute, sweet, kind or hot they were, and instead, I found myself rather interested in the boys. I think I had my first real crush on a male friend during ninth grade or so? Of course, I was too shy to tell him, and nobody else seemed to confess to people of the same gender so I kept quiet. I thought I'd get over it, maybe it was just a phase... that I'll forget him when we switched to High School. But we ended up going to the same High School and ended up in the same class and my feelings didn't vanish just like that. Then there was this school excursion and, in the evening, everyone gathered to play stupid games like truth or dare and spin the bottle. During that, it happened that even girls had to kiss girls or boys had to kiss boys and against all odds, my crush had to kiss me at one point. You can probably imagine, how freaking nervous I was. And even if it was just a short touch of our lips, I felt like burning. At that point, at the latest, I realized that was what I really wanted.”

“Wow, I had no idea you experienced something like that... so, did you two end up together?” Aiba asked, completely caught up in the story.

“Ah, well, my crush seemed to be utterly disgusted by all of that and my dreams were crushed just like that. Of course, nothing happened between us. He got himself a cute girlfriend and I was heartbroken for a while, but life went on, college came... and there were new opportunities,” Nino continued, shrugging. “I'd be lying if I'd say I'm very experienced, as I always had other things to take care of in my life other than relationships, but I can say I tested enough to know what I really like and who I am.”

“That's great, isn't it?” Ohno hummed. “I always think, when it comes to stuff like that, it's best to just let yourself get carried away with the flow...”

“Now, that sounds like you _do_ have quite some experience, Ohno-san?” Sho, who had just been listening quietly up to now, chuckled, raising a questioning eyebrow, but Ohno just grinned and shrugged.

“Maybe we'll have to tie up Ohno and tickle some answers out of him next time,” Jun said, and Aiba laughed. “But that's for another day. Up to the next question for our Nino here,” Jun continued, looking at his phone. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Jun slightly raised his eyebrows and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. It was obvious that he had a hard time not to give away the answer by himself. Nino looked at Sho as if to confirm something, and Sho smiled at him. Encouragingly, he squeezed Nino's hand, that was connected to his underneath the table. Nino nodded, returning the smile, that then turned into a smug grin before he pulled up his and Sho's connected hands and pointed at them, looking straight into the camera.

“I can proudly announce that I definitely overcame my High School crush and that nowadays, I'm very happily in love with my dear friend Sho, so yes, I do have a boyfriend, and we are very happy with each other, right, Sho-chan?”

Sho chuckled, slightly turning red. “Yes, we are. And I'm trying my best right now, not to be jealous of your High School crush.”

Nino laughed heartily. “No worries, you have no reason to, really.”

Aiba started clapping excitedly, yelling, “Congratulations!”

Ohno joined, and even Jun put down his phone for a second to clap.

“Thank you,” Nino added, his face slightly turned red, before lowering their hands again. He exchanged another smile with Sho and Sho could feel that they both truly were happy. Happy and lucky.

Nino and Sho's relationship was already known to the members of the share house by now, which hadn't been a surprise, especially not after Ohno had caught them red-handed, kissing in the kitchen. As it turned out, he had even snapped a picture of them, which none of them noticed, that he had sent into the share house group chat with the caption “no more secrets” and a kissing emoji. While Nino had wanted to kill Ohno for five minutes that it had taken Sho to calm him down, but as it had quickly been clear, everyone was happy for the two of them finding together. 

And together, they had decided, that it was of no use to hide their relationship, and since Sho was already out to his closest friends and family, it was less of a problem for him. Regarding work, Sho had decided, if any of his colleagues or bossed would have a problem with him being gay, he couldn't help it and would find another place to work. For him, it was as simple as that. And his viewers could know as well. Sho wasn't scared. As long as he had Nino by his side, nothing would be able to harm him.

“Now, isn't that cute?” Jun cooed. “As a follow up to this question, I could now add another viewer's question regarding a slightly more intimate part of your relationship, but I suppose, that's something that shouldn't be disclosed.”

“To all of your perverted minds out there, imagine what you want but yes, this is indeed private,” Nino replied with a wink. “I hope you understand.”

“OK, then let's skip a few of those other questions I had lined up just in case you felt like spilling some tea,” Jun said drily, earning a soft punch in the ribs by Nino, “Ah yeah, that's another good question, I thought. What are your future plans for your channel, will you be talking about LGBTQ+ related topics?”

“Ah! That's indeed a good question,” Nino hummed, and then, after exchanging another look with Sho, he continued. “Actually, Sho and I have been talking about that with the guys here, because we had the idea that we could make a video format on our share house channel that would deal with LGBTQ+ related topics. We don't really know how that format could look like, exactly, but we were thinking about like... explaining terminology for a start and talk about the recent situation here in Japan. We could also do Q&As, interviewing some people representing certain parts of the community, if we can find some... So if you think that would be interesting, if you have any ideas or topics you'd like us to talk about, definitely let us know in the comments!”

Nino made a downwards gesture with his free hand and Aiba helped.

They were not afraid of public backlash, they were not bound to anything other than their channel and YouTube was a perfect platform that gave them the place and possibilities to branch into topics that Japanese broadcasting companies would shy away from. And with that, they were planning to raise more awareness and wanted to try making people more open-minded and understanding.

“Great! I'm looking forward to those videos! Now, to the next question... where's our food, by the way?” frowning, Jun turned to Aiba. “Hasn't it been a while now since we ordered? They are fast, usually.”

Aiba took his tablet to check the order status before his face slipped. “Oh... Oh no, seems I forgot to klick the order button...”

“What?! No! Aiba-chan!” Ohno exclaimed.

“Sorry guys, I'll order right away!” Aiba replied, tapping on the screen, hurriedly, and even showed his tablet to Jun to confirm his actions. “See? It says “in progress” now.”

“Good, I'm starving,” Sho laughed and Ohno nodded aggressively in agreement.

“OK then, while we're waiting, here's the next question, I think that's also a quite interesting one. Have you ever thought of coming out before the talk to your parents that triggered you to record your coming out video?”

“Well... of course, when I was younger, I was playing the scenarios in my head. Like, how would people react if I told them I like boys, and such things, but in the end, I was never brave enough and I ended up thinking, well, maybe it's not that important, maybe I can keep on hiding it? Then, shortly after Sho moved into our share house, I started wondering again... wouldn't it be better if people knew? Then I panicked and became scared and insecure again. However, the more I realised how much I like Sho, the more I realised I wouldn't be able to hide that forever,” Nino explained. “In the end, it was a classic case of bottling up emotions until a small thing was enough to make me explode. Sure, did I plan to make my coming out so impulsively? No. I would have wanted to think about it a bit more, but then... wouldn't I have ended up thinking too much about it and postponing it again and again? But, even if it kind of got out of hand and I decided on a whim to post it online, I guess in the end, it turned out just fine.”

“Do you regret to have come out? - That's the next question.”

There was a short pause, everyone's eyes drawn to Nino. They all knew it hadn't been easy for Nino shortly after the coming out, in some aspects, but other things have gone very well since then. Nino squeezed Sho's hand firmly, causing Sho's heart to skip a beat.

“No,” he eventually said. “No, I do not regret it. It's been a risk I had to take, and I'm glad I did. Even if my parents might still have a problem with it, it's nothing I can apologize for and take back, right? It's nothing that I can change. And if I hadn't come out, I might have not been brave enough to ask my crush out, so... I think everything just went the way it should and now, being happy with Sho is my biggest reward.”

Jun nodded before proceeding to the next question. “Why did you decide to come out on YouTube – basically for the whole world to see? Why not just to your friends and family, in private?”

“Actually, one reason for that was, because I'm bad in talking to people face to face about such things,” Nino replied, chuckling awkwardly. “I really am. But I'm not that bad with making videos, so this was just the easier way of doing it, for me, personally.”

“But why did you upload it open for everyone to see? You could have just sent that video to those people you wanted to know, right?” Aiba intervened, jumping onto the topic.

“Of course, I could have done that, but you know... when I considered that option, there was this tiny voice in my head which said _why hide it from the world_? I have a YouTube channel. It might not be huge, but it already happened in Tokyo, that people recognized me on the streets. If they would see me out on a date with a man... they would catch up. They would know. Maybe, they would feel betrayed, because they didn't expect it. So why shouldn't I just tell them? And why is it, that people like me – queer people – keep hiding, anyway? Why? I want to break that norm. I know, I'm talking big but... I kind of hope that other people will find the courage to do this, too, if they want to,” Nino explained.

“Of course, there's no need to come out if you don't want to, but _if_ you do, you shouldn't feel scared. But so that this can happen, society needs to change. We need to change. We need to make this change happen. If anything, I regret that I didn't come out earlier. I do understand that coming out is a very personal subject and nobody should feel forced to do it, but if you feel like you have to tell it someone – and even if it's just one friend or two, then please don't bottle it up like I did. It was hard for me to have to hide all this from my friends and my family. It made me feel even more disconnected with everyone because I hid such an essential part of myself. I felt like I was lying to my audience... and I knew it might be risky, but in the end, I just wanted to finally be honest, to myself, to my friends, and to everyone else. And I'm very grateful that most responses I received on my decision to come out were positive ones. Thank you to everyone, who's supporting me.”

There was a flash of pride brushing over Jun's face. “Nino, I think this was very brave of you, you know that?”

“Thank you, J, but I think I just happened to do the right thing in a moment in which I've been scared. And I'm very lucky, that the outcome isn't anything bad,” Nino smiled.

“Aw, Nino... that's so inspiring,” Aiba said, apparently close to tears. By now, he was clinging to Jun, and he looked like there was something more he wanted to say. It took a slightly confused look by Jun and another few seconds until Aiba spilt it out. “Shouldn't... shouldn't we also be honest, Jun-chan?”

“Honest?” Jun repeated before the scales fell from his eyes. “Oh! You mean... well, I thought you don't want to make it public.”

“But... thinking of it, I think I want to take the risk. Because I'm proud of what we have, and I want everyone to be happy with us!” Aiba exclaimed.

“OK, if you're sure about it?”

Aiba nodded. “Absolutely sure!”

Jun beamed at his boyfriend. “Alright, then let's screw the risks!” he then said, determined. “If you lose your job, you can become my gigolo!”

Aiba laughed hard, but Nino intervened. “Guys, I'm thrilled, really, but please don't forget to fill in our viewers over what you're trying to say.”

“Right!” Aiba chuckled. “Guys, I'm sorry for hiding it for so long but Jun here and I, we're a couple for quite a few years now, and just like our friends, we're also very happy with each other.”

“Congratulations!” Ohno said, starting to clap, and did Nino and Sho, playfully clapping each of their free hands together as they didn't want to untwine their joint hands.

“Now it's finally official,” Jun chuckled, facing the camera. He let Aiba hug him from the side and even slid his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder, letting him cuddle up closer. “Now, I guess for some of you – at least judging from reading your comments on our videos, sorry for never responding to those kinds of comments yet – this isn't even such a big surprise. Congratulations to everyone who bet money on us!”

Thankfully, it didn't take much longer until the ramen order finally got delivered, and while the group of friends kept eating their meals in front of the camera, they drifted off talking about all and nothing, about food – including another discussion over ramen broth between Nino and Ohno –, about random things, about the movies Nino and Sho planned to watch and make reviews on, and about some of their upcoming video plans.

The mukbang video quickly became the most-watched videos on their channel and indeed, Nino's actions, and the LGBTQ+ format he and Sho – and soon after also featuring the other members of the share house, in turns – started shortly after, seemed to bear fruits. Not only for certain people, like one female YouTuber, who followed their example and also came out as gay soon after but in general, they seemed to raise more awareness on the topic. The video series was criticized as much as praised in the online media, and they even made it into a newspaper at some point. The five men had to fight hate comments, but also found new allies within the comment section of their videos, and so they decided that as long as they had content worth sharing, they’d keep going.

Over time, the group filled their joint channel with more and more varied content. Besides the discussion-based LGBTQ+ format, they also had more light-hearted content, like the gathering of The Sweets Club, in which soon not only Jun as the chef and Aiba, Ohno and Sho as his taste testers but also Nino was added to the regular cast, as Jun made it his extra challenge, to create a dessert that even Nino would like, who had the most unsweet tooth of them all. Of course, also the art showdown between Nino and Sho stayed a permanent format. Then, they also featured various challenges, like dance challenges, sing the right lyrics challenges, what's in the box challenges and whatnot. You name it – the five guys from the share house had probably tried it – unless it wasn't something “too stupid” according to Jun's standards., who would always have the last say on the channel.

One special project, the group had been working on, actually had surfaced during another round of more or less drunken karaoke, just a few months after the opening of the joint channel. They didn't know if they'd succeed with it if they even wanted to make it a success of just enjoy it and go with the idea as it sounded fun to them, but they didn't talk much about it until the whole thing was finally cut and dried, and _then_ , they decided to make a big announcement for the finished project via a live stream on their channel.

“Are we recording yet?” Aiba asked, leaning closer towards the camera. “Ah, yes we are, OK. Hello everyone, how's it going? Guess what, we decided to do a live-stream to announce our new project!”

He was gently pulled back by the hand of his boyfriend, who made him sit next to him on the couch. “Now, Masaki, would you be so kind and not drop the bomb in the first sentence?”

“I didn't say _what_ the project is, yet,” Aiba pouted.

“And I ask you to keep it to yourself for now, OK?”

“Hey, guys!” Ohno suddenly spoke up, waving to the camera. “Did you watch our last vlog? I finished that painting I've been working on for three months now.”

“Really? Why didn't you tell us yet?” Nino asked, who just entered the frame of the recording holding two cups of tea in his hand and handing one to Sho.

“Well, I thought I could announce it here in the live-stream.”

“Congratulations, Ohno-san!” Sho said with a smile.

“Thank you,” the other man bowed slightly, grinning proudly.

“Will there be a tutorial for the painting that Nino and I will be able to follow?” Sho inquired further.

Ohno hummed, crossing his arms. “I did a few recordings but since it was such a long project and so many things changed during the process, it's rather a montage about the whole thing... but I'll make sure to come up with a new tutorial for you guys to ruin.”

“Looking forward to that,” Nino said between two slurps of his tea.

“Guys, concentration, now!” Jun interrupted the conversation. When Nino slightly rolled his eyes, Jun glared at him. “Or did you want to announce something too, Nino?”

“Huh? Me? No?”

“Wait, didn't you have a phone call with your mother this morning?” Aiba chimed in. “Oh sorry, maybe you don't want to talk about that on live camera...”

“Ah, it's OK, yes, she called me and... we had a long talk...,” Nino replied, looking down on the cup in his hands.

“And?” Aiba asked curiously.

“And... in the end, she invited me for dinner next weekend,” the other man replied with a smile on his face. “Not only that, she even invited Sho to join.”

“Really?!” Aiba burst. “That's amazing!”

“I couldn't believe it either, at first, but apparently, my sister talked to my parents again and something she said must have them want to try a little harder to accept me. I'm a bit nervous and I'd understood of Sho didn't want to come with me, but he said, he'd like to meet my family,” Nino continued, shily.

“Of course, I want to come,” Sho said, wrapping his arm around Nino's shoulder. “I'm sure it will be fine.”

“OK, great, so Jishaku is gone for the weekend,” Jun summed up, using the nickname he had come up with for the cupple, as they used to cling to each other practically all the time since they were together. He looked at Aiba with a grin. “That means, we'll have the house for ourselves.”

“I'm still here, you two,” Ohno protested.

“That does barely count if you camp in the garage with your paintings again,” Jun dared to say.

“But maybe I plan to spend the weekend on the couch watching Netflix docus?” the usually quiet man retorted. Apparently, he was in a chatty mood today.

“We still have plenty of rooms upstairs, then!” Aiba chuckled.

“Don't you dare using _my_ bed for strange things, while we're gone,” Nino murmured.

“OK, OK, time out!” Jun clapped his hands, trying to guide the attention towards him instead of letting the situation escalate. “So if we're finished now with the random announcement section, can we proceed to the real deal?”

“Sure,” Nino snorted.

“Alright,” Jun smiled, this time at the camera. “So, again, hello everyone and thanks for tuning in with us for this live-stream! As the title I put for the video gives away – as well as Masaki did – this is meant to be a live-stream for an announcement of our new project.”

“Yei!” Aiba cheered.

“This is something special for us,” Jun continued. “Because it's something different from our usual video content. Nino, would you like to explain?”

“Me?”

His friend nodded. “Well, you're the main contributor to it so I thought...”

“Uhm, OK, fine,” Nino cleared this throat. “So... I happened to write a song and... the guys all liked it and together we came up with some lyrics...”

“ _Liked_ it? We _love_ it, right Sho-chan?” Aiba threw in.

Sho nodded heavily. “Yes, we love it! It's a great song and did you guys even know that Nino is such a skilled musician? He can play the guitar and the keyboard, even the drums, and his voice is so beautiful and he can even write songs, isn't that amazing?”

“It's OK, Sho, stop praising your boyfriend, now, or he'll end up burning!” Jun chuckled, pointing out at Nino's red flushed face, as he tried to hide behind his cup of tea.

“Ah, I'm sorry,“ Sho said, smiling, tightening the grip around Nino's shoulders. “Nino, tell our viewers more about the song. What's it called?”

“The title is a bit lame...,” the young man murmured.

“Don't say that! Just because you're getting shy about your music! Stand with it! Say it out loud!” his boyfriend encouraged him.

“OK, OK, I get it,” Nino laughed. “It's called _Energy Song_!”

“Now, isn't that a great title?” Jun offered.

“It is!” Sho agreed.

“I love it,” Ohno added.

“And what's it about?” Jun prompted further.

“It's about getting together and laugh and have fun, no matter the situation. It's meant to be positive and uplifting,” Nino explained a little further.

“Sounds nice, right?” Sho said. “It's indeed a very energizing song.”

“We would like everyone to get hyped up by it and to get into a good mood and enjoy life,” Jun said.

“Because it's a wonderful world we live in,” Aiba added with a broad smile.

“That's a little much said, if you ask me, but everyone's world differs, right?” Nino said. “And what we make of our own world is our decision. Maybe we don't have an influence on _everything_ but there are things we can take control over if we are brave enough. And like this, we might not be able to create our ideal world, but one that's perfect for us.”

“Wow, I don't know if that right now was deeply philosophical or just super cheesy. Guess, that's an artist for you, guys,” Jun chuckled.

Nino blushed. “Oh, shut it, J.”

“Anyway, we recorded the song and made a music video for it and we premiere it in two days at 5 pm here on our channel! We'd be very happy if you could come and watch it together with us!”

“You'll like it, I promise!”

“OK, so it's out now. Satoshi, do you want to add something?”

Ohno lifted his hand to wave “Thanks for watching and see you next time!”

Sho chuckled, “Wait wait, did we even tell them our group name?”

“Oh! I don’t think we did,” Jun sighed.

“Wow, we’re such slobs…,” Nino murmured.

“If you guys had followed my script from the beginning, everything would have been fine,” another sign from Jun. “Oh, we should have pre-recorded this, whose idea was it again, to make this a life-stream?”

“Yours, because you wanted to make it as authentic as possible,” Nino deadpanned. “I dare to point out that spontaneously doing an authentic life-stream is kind of the opposite of a scripted video.”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to follow a plan –“

“Oh well, it is what it is now, isn’t it?” Sho tried to mediate.

“Would you at least announce our name now, before we end this?” Jun prompted Ohno.

“Oh, if you really want to leave that honour to me?”

“I gave up on my script so please, whoever, go ahead!”

It was Aiba then, who chimed in with a loud but quick, “This was Arashi! Bye, guys, it's been fun to hang out with you!”

When he was about to finish his sentence, Aiba's voice was almost drowned out by Sho’s laughter.

Nino could be heard with another silent comment from the back, “Wow, now that was kinda anti-climactic.”

“Well, if you guys had followed my script-,“ Jun started again, but then the screen went dark after another “Bye, guys!” from Ohno, who bent forward to cover the camera lense with his hand so that only Aiba's voice could still be heard from the off before the recording ended, “Because we want to create a storm around the –” 

The release of “Arashi’s” first music video two days later became a huge success online, among fans of the “5-nin no share house channel” as well as music fans. And it probably wouldn’t be the last one.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short disclaimer: Soon after I started planning this fic, which was supposed to be just a fun thing in the beginning, I realised, I wanted to write a coming out story. Personally, I don't have any experience with this, so I hope I wrote it in a way sensitive enough for the topic. Due to the time issue I couldn't explore everything and every character's feelings as detailed as I planned to, but I hope it's OK the way it is. Thanks for reading.


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